


The A Team

by TheRealKags



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, Asperger's Syndrome, Assault, Exhaustion, Forced Prostitution, Gangbang, Guitarist!Kageyama, HIV/AIDS, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Napping, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overworking, Past Child Abuse, Prostitution, Self-Harm, Sexual Violence, Smoking, Stabbing, Stripper!Hinata, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Terminal Illnesses, Uncle/Nephew Incest, i’m really really sorry, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 04:45:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 40,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11410488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealKags/pseuds/TheRealKags
Summary: Hinata is a barista by day and an exotic dancer at The Crow by night. Kageyama is an awkward college student and a musical prodigy. They are both trying to escape their pasts, but just happen to meet along the way.





	1. White Lips, Pale Face

**Author's Note:**

> First years are 19, second years are 20, third years are 21. Oh, and I've never been to a strip club since I'm fifteen so I have no idea how these things work.

"It feels like it's been ten o'clock for four hours," Nishinoya said.

"Well it's almost eleven," Bokuto replied. "Then the shift is finally over."

"The end of the day can't come soon enough," Hinata whined as he fixed the wing on his eyeliner. "I can't wait to get home."

"Well you have one performance left," Daichi said, poking his head into the room. "So don't check out just yet."

Hinata stuck his tongue out at the manager as he left the break room and walked back down the stairs and into the bar. The Crow was a popular hangout for college students, as well as those looking to hook up.

"Come on, Sunshine," Kuroo called. "You're the best we've got."

The redhead finished his eyeliner and secured the belt around his obscenely tight shorts and buckled his knee-high heeled boots before putting his mask on and heading out. The music boomed around him and the lights flashed. He bumped into several people on his way to the stage. Hinata got into his beginning pose by the pole and watched people gather around him before the music started.

It was an upbeat, sexy song. Definitely his favorite one to dance to. He swayed his hips and shook his shoulders, body moving gracefully around the pole. His fluid movements mesmerized the onlookers. He laughed and moved his feet to the beat of the music to his very own choreography. It was borderline erotic. The people cheered and threw money his way. Soon, the music ended abruptly and he struck his ending pose. The crowd roared and he walked off the stage as Kuroo and Bokuto collected the money that had been thrown at him.

"Nice job," Daichi said as he took a seat at the bar. "There was a nice turnout tonight."

"I know," he said. "I'm just glad the day is finally over. It's felt so long!"

Hinata got a drink and went back into the break room. He sat down and sipped his drink before taking his makeup off and changing into the regular clothes in his bag.

"I'm heading home," he shouted to Daichi, slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder as he left the bar. "See you tomorrow!"

He walked down the sidewalk and stopped by an old convenience store before making his way to his apartment. Hinata grabbed a couple snacks before making his way over to the front counter, placing the stuff down.

"Will that be all for you?" The blue eyed boy behind the counter asked.

"Actually," Hinata said. "Can I get two packs of Camels?"

"I need to see your ID."

Hinata handed it to him in exchange for the cigarettes.

"Have a good night, uh..." He looked at Hinata's ID. "Hinata." The redhead didn't move. "What?" The boy asked.

"Well, since you know my name, aren't you going to tell me yours?"

"Kageyama," he said. "Kageyama Tobio."

"Nice to meet you," Hinata replied. "Are you new? I come here all the time, and I haven't seen you before."

"Yeah," Kageyama sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "It's my first day. Where do you work?"

"At the bar down the road," Hinata said. "You should stop in sometime."

"Sure," Kageyama replied. He walked over to the front door. "Store's closing. Want me to drive you home?"

"Oh, no thanks," Hinata declined. "I usually walk."

They both walked out of the store and went their separate ways, wishing each other a good night. Kageyama was the first friend Hinata made since moving here that didn't work at the bar or go to dance classes with him.

He went down three blocks before walking into his apartment building. He walked into apartment nine after unlocking the door, Kenma on the couch waiting for him.

"Finally," he said. "I was about to just go to sleep. Where were you?"

"I just went to get more cigarettes," Hinata replied.

Kenma sighed. "You've really got to stop smoking. It's bad for you."

"So is playing video games so much," Hinata said. "That doesn't seem to be stopping you."

"Shut up," Kenma said.

With a sigh, Hinata went and took a shower before turning in for the night.

 


	2. Breathing In Snowflakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter of the day! planning on posting one more. enjoy!

Kageyama woke with the sun. He sat up and stretched before looking at his clock. It was nine. He had two hours before his band practice. He got up and got dressed, heading outside for his morning run. As he ran down the streets of town in the crisp November air, Kageyama passed The Crow, a bar that he'd been intending to check out, though it'd have to be on a day he wasn't working second shift. Working those hours made it difficult to let loose or party.

Not that Kageyama was much of a partier, anyways. He'd much rather sit at home with his guitar, strumming and picking the night away. It was just that everyone had been nagging him and telling him he needed to let loose every once in a while. Especially his roommate, Suga. They were both going to the same college, Kageyama for music and Suga for theater.

He finished his run and went back to his apartment to shower and eat. He did so and by that time, it was time to leave for practice. He grabbed his guitar case and got into his car, buckling in and driving to the warehouse that one of his friends owned. When he got there, Yachi, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi were already waiting. Yachi was their band's singer, Tsukishima was on drums, and Yamaguchi played the keyboard.

"Why did you bring your acoustic," Yamaguchi said. "I thought you were using your electric today."

"Damn," Kageyama replied. "I forgot. I can still pick with this one, though."

"Barely," Tsukishima snickered.

The blue eyed boy went to retort, but Yachi finally spoke up.

"Let's just get started, okay?"

They tuned their instruments and warmed up before beginning to play together. Kageyama swiftly picked the strings in a melodious tune for the intro before the others began joining in. Yachi began singing the verses and Yamaguchi switched his keyboard to dubstep and began playing- the whole thing would've sounded better if Kageyama brought his electric like he was supposed to, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Kageyama joined in with Yachi and sang the harmonies during the chorus, Yamaguchi joining in with another harmony during the bridge. The song finished with a final bang from Tsukishima.

"That was great, guys," Yachi said. "But the ending was a little rushed, Tsukishima. Let's try again, slower this time."

The drummer rolled his eyes and they played the song again before improvising together. Kageyama whipped out his violin that he'd left last time and improvised while Yamaguchi played the piano. Tsukishima played a beat along to them. Yachi was writing down a tune she couldn't get out of her head. This was how practice normally turned out. They weren't too formal and weren't making much money off of their songs yet, but they had small gigs here and there.

One thing Yachi had been talking about, though, was seeing if The Crow would let them perform there. That would surely get their name out there and earn them a good amount of money.

After practice, Kageyama once again set off in the cold air. He drove back home and unloaded his guitar and violin. Suga greeted him when he entered.

"What's up, my little musical prodigy?"

It was true, Kageyama was considered a musical prodigy. He didn't like to brag, though. He could identify a note just by hearing it once. He could tune any instrument correctly by ear and could easily identify which notes would create a harmony.

This was only because he had Asperger's syndrome, though, a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate or socialize. It made growing up difficult. Making friends was nearly impossible for him until he met Yachi in high school. She also introduced him to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and since they all had a knack for music, they decided to form a band, the Black Birds.

"Just about to head to work," he said.

He put his stuff down and changed into his uniform.

"Have a good day," Suga called as he walked out the door.

Kageyama went to work and tediously checked out several people's items. Then, his boss approached him.

"We're closing early today," he said. "You can go home, if you want."

So he left the store, but he decided that now was as good a time as ever to check out the place where Hinata worked. So he went to The Crow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i know this is really poorly written but just bear with me for the next couple of chapters and then it'll get good i promise


	3. Burnt Lungs, Sour Taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok after this things should slow down just a little. my writing is always fast paced.

Hinata walked into The Crow.

"Hey, Sunshine," Bokuto called.

He waved. Sunshine was what Hinata requested the staff call him in front of other people. He didn't want others to know he was Hinata Shouyou. That was why he wore the mask when he danced. At The Crow, he was Sunshine. On the outside, he was Hinata Shouyou.

He didn't want to meet anyone from his past. He didn't want anyone to show up and recognize him. Especially since they could end up telling his parents where he was. He couldn't let that happen.

Hinata just finished his shift as a barista at the cafe across town. He almost felt like a super hero- innocent barista by day, exotic dancer by night. He worked early mornings and late nights, but it was all for a good cause. He was working now so he could go to college later and pay Kenma back for all he'd done for him. He didn't have much yet, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that with all he was doing, he'd make enough money, somehow.

And he was doing everything he possibly could. He danced, he worked, he took on extra hours and he barely slept. Work at the cafe started at seven in the morning and he was constantly going until eleven at night at the bar. He barely had time to eat, either.

Hinata walked up the stairs and put his stuff down in the break room, changing out of his barista uniform. He threw on his Crow t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He'd have to change into his dancing clothes later, but that was okay. He threw his barista uniform in his duffle bag and went back to the bar.

"What's up, Sunshine?" Kuroo said, slinging his arm around his shoulder.

"Not much," Hinata replied. "How about things here?"

"Hasn't been busy," Kuroo said. "Just wait till tonight, though. You always bring in plenty of people."

"I sure hope I do!"

Hinata went back to the kitchen and started on the dishes that were laying in the sink. This was his life for the next few hours. Spraying dishes before putting them into the dishwasher and letting them air dry. They weren't allowed to use rags- it was a health code violation. He tediously cleaned every last dish before helping to get orders ready. After a few hours, it was time for his first dance. He rushed to get ready in his tight shorts and heels.

"Hurry up, Sunshine," Nishinoya said, peeking his head through the door. "You're on in five!"

Nodding, Hinata put on his feathery, sequined mask before heading back downstairs. On his way towards the stage, he ran into his new friend.

"Hey, Hin-"

"Shh!" Hinata said. "Don't call me that here. Just call me Sunshine."

"Sunshine," Kageyama mulled over the name. "Why?"

"I don't want these people knowing who I am, Bakayama!"

The guitarist frowned. "What did you just call me? And what on earth are you wearing?"

"Sunshine," Daichi said. "You're on."

"I've gotta go," Hinata said to Kageyama. "I'll be right back."

Kageyama watched as the redhead went up to the stage and draped himself around the pole. The music began and Hinata began moving his body methodically and fluidly to the beat. Kageyama was mesmerized. Hinata's wild hair mixed with the orange shine of his feathery mask made it look like he was on fire. His red heels clinked against the stage but he didn't stumble. His feet shuffled and his head leaned back.

And then it was over. The music was still playing, but someone reached up into the stage and grabbed Hinata. He fell and then there were arms snaking around his legs. Kageyama saw out of the corner of his eye as two men- one with spiky black and white hair and the other with a bedhead- walked onto the stage and kicked the people's hands away. They helped Hinata up and led him off the stage, the music cutting out. There were shouts and boos and suddenly Kageyama was walking. Walking towards where Hinata was being led.

Meanwhile, Hinata ripped his mask off as he mounted the staircase to get to the break room.

"Hey," Bokuto called after him. "Slow down!"

Hinata ran up the stairs and tore the door open, dashing into the room and slamming the door behind him. That's when he realized the tears falling from his eyes. He hugged his knees to his chest and let them come. There was a knock at the door and it opened slightly, revealing Daichi standing outside.

"Hey," he said. "Can I come in?"

Hinata nodded and the older man came into the room, sitting on the other end of the bright red couch.

"Are you okay?"

The redhead felt new tears spring to his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

"That guy grabbed my fucking dick," he said. "Why does this affect me so much? I'm a goddamn stripper and a prostitute for fuck's sake."

"Hey now," Daichi said. "It's because he did it without your consent. Your emotions are perfectly valid. Even if you're a stripper, he should've asked."

Hinata sniffled and there was another knock at the door. Asahi, the chef, poked his head in.

"Hey, Sunshine, there's this guy, Kageyama, and he's demanding to see you. Should I let him in?"

Daichi looked to Hinata. "Sure," the redhead replied.

Asahi opened the door and in stepped Kageyama, worry obvious on his face.

"Are you okay," he asked.

Hinata wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"That guy shouldn't have done what he did," Kageyama said, eyes falling to the floor.

"I can't say it hasn't happened before," Hinata said. "It's fine. I'll get over it by my next show."

With that, he stood and retreated from the room. He hated the way everyone was looking at him- with pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh and another note: I GOT A LAPTOP!!!  
> i've been doing all my writing on my phone and i FINALLY got a laptop and i'm so excited, even though it's SUPER old. my friend is painting it for me right now because he's a super good artist and he did his and it looks really cool. i have another multichapter fic already started on there and i'll post it before summer is over!


	4. Light's Gone, Day's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's a kag that can't do emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO BOIS  
> back at it again with another horribly rushed, ooc, and just overall shitty chapter! honestly posting this was dumb but i'm not leaving you hanging!

****Kageyama walked into his apartment and set his stuff down forcefully. He turned to see Suga sitting on the sofa.

"You alright?" Suga asked.

"Yeah," Kageyama replied.

"No you're not," the silver haired boy insisted. "Spill it."

The guitarist flopped down on the couch. He didn't know what to say.

"I-I don't-"

"How do you feel right now?" Suga asked.

"Umm... Angry? Sad? Frustrated?"

"And did anything trigger this?"

"Well," Kageyama began. "I met this guy the other day at work, Hinata, and he works at that club, The Crow. And..." He hesitated.

"Go on," Suga urged.

"It turns out he's a stripper," Kageyama continued. "And he was in the middle of... a performance, when someone reached up and grabbed him... inappropriately? He got really upset. He says he's fine, but he's not. It just makes me so angry that people do stuff like that."

"I see why you're upset," Suga said. "Thank you for telling me. My friend just happens to be the manager there and he can make sure your friend is okay."

Suga took out his phone and began typing away. Kageyama was thankful that his roommate was so tolerant and good at helping him sort out his emotions. His parents weren't very good at dealing with him and neither was anyone else, to be honest. Yachi and Suga were the only ones who seemed to find him tolerable.

His parents are wealthy. Very wealthy. And with his Aspergers came a learning disability. He was a genius with music, but things like science and math and literature just didn't come easy to him. His parents seemed to find him to be a disappointment. He wasn't an honors student. He didn't graduate top of his class like his parents and his cousins. He didn't want to be a part of a family that wouldn't appreciate him unless he was successful.

So, when he turned eighteen, he left. He took his college money and he left, and that's how he met Suga. They met at orientation and the future actor seemed to take a liking to him, so they got an apartment to share. Suga worked as a veterinary assistant and got paid pretty well, and Kageyama still had a lot of money from his parents, so there was no issue there. They were secure and life seemed great. Until Hinata Shouyou was thrown in Kageyama's path. Something was off about that kid. Kageyama felt strangely attached to him and thought about him all the time.

Anyways, Kageyama took out his phone and saw that he had three unread messages. Two were from Suga, asking where he was, but the third startled him.

**Oikawa >> I need to talk to you. I want you back. Take it or leave it.**

Kageyama felt the air leave his lungs and his heart stop. The phone fell from his fingers and onto the floor and he brought both hands to his face.

"Kageyama?" Suga said, walking into the room. "Hey, what's wrong?"

The guitarist finally found his voice. "I-It's... It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

He ignored the message and blocked the number. That would have to be enough for now. Kageyama got ready for bed and turned in, but that night was sleepless for him. His mind was far too disturbed.

Meanwhile, Hinata finally made it home. He went inside and shut the door behind him before leaning against it and closing his eyes. He was simply exhausted.

"Hey," Kenma said. "How was work?"

Hinata let out a grunt before striding over and falling onto the couch.

"I swear if one more person tries to grab my dick, I'm quitting."

"That bad, huh?"

"You don't understand," the redhead said. "It freaks me out. It reminds me of..."

Kenma hummed in acknowledgment. "Unfortunately, with your job, there are risks like that. But that doesn't excuse what happened and besides, you're safe now. Let's just get to bed. It's really late."

Hinata snuggled under his blankets that night with a lot on his mind. His dreams were plagued with nightmares of his past. He wished those thoughts and flashbacks would just stay inside his locked box of repressed memories. Usually they did, but it was during times like these that they came out.

Kageyama woke up the next morning early. He didn't have class until eight, so he went to a little cafe in town about an hour earlier. He walked up to the front counter and was delighted to see a familiar face.

"Hey, Hinata," he said.

Hinata smiled. "Hey, Kageyama! Fancy meeting you here! What can I get you?"

"Just a coffee please," Kageyama replied. "Black."

Hinata stuck his tongue out slightly as he typed in the order and told Kageyama his total. The guitarist paid and took his drink.

"You work two jobs?"

"Yeah," Hinata said. "I'm trying to save enough to go to college in a couple years."

"Yeah," Kageyama said. "Shit is expensive."

Hinata scoffed. "Tell me about it. I've got to eat, too, you know?"

Kageyama thought it was a little odd that the redhead's parents hadn't saved any money for him and he couldn't get any scholarships, but it wasn't his business. They said their goodbyes and Kageyama headed to his first class. He spent the whole time thinking of Hinata, though. That made things a bit difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had an AMAZING day and i'm in a killer mood even though i ripped my pants at work. it was a pretty good day. you can probably expect another update on sunday. bye loves!


	5. Struggling To Pay Rent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY LOVELY READERS!!   
> i've been hitting a patch of writers block lately, but hopefully it'll pass soon.   
> now, this week is church camp and i get home on friday, but i leave again monday to go to tennessee for a christ in youth conference. so updates will probably be slow. i know, i know, i always say that and end up updating on time, but i'm just putting that out there just in case.

And Hinata was back at The Crow for his shift. He spent today choreographing a new dance to a sexy, jazzy song. It was a little slower than the ones he usually danced to, but he figured it was just a new challenge to face. He'd stopped taking dance lessons a while ago because it was too much money. Everything was too much money these days.

Hinata pressed the play button on the radio before he ran over and draped himself around the pole in the dance studio down the hall from the break room. The saxophone started playing and he shook his shoulders slowly and fluidly. He then wrapped his legs around the pole, allowing himself to move around it. He was lost in the music, the brass and the drums.

He struck a pose on the last note and stared at himself in the mirror, proud of finally finishing his choreography. Hinata was ready for his next performance. Which just happened to be in five minutes. And he wasn't even dressed.

He rushed to pull on a pair of ripped black leggings and some sparkly heels. He wore a white crop top and a new mask, this one being black and white with silver sequins. He put on red lips and false lashes before being ushered out the door by Daichi, as he was almost ten minutes late. The manager practically dragged him to the stage. He quickly went towards the pole and when the music began, he struck his first move. Sex. Think about sex. Being sexy. Make them want you. Be as erotic as possible. As seductive. That was what went through his mind as he strutted and moved.

Then the song was over. Applause rang out and Hinata walked off the stage.

"Good job," Daichi said, clapping him on the back. "Just don't be late for your next performance."

Hinata smiled and went upstairs to practice some more. He danced his ass off, made a few changes, and was back out for another performance. He changed into his tall red heels and did his usual dance this time, saving the edited, new dance for his last performance. He'd blow everyone away with that one. Hopefully Kageyama would come to see it.

Meanwhile, Kageyama was just beginning his shift at the convenience store. He was the only one there since it was getting late and never got busy, as it was a small store. He was hoping to go to The Crow again sometime soon. The guitarist really wanted to see Hinata dance again. Just once, and without any rude and unwarranted interruptions.

He leaned over on the counter, eyes closed, and went back to the last time he saw the redhead dance. The way his hips moved. The illusion of fire due to his hair and red hot outfit. How his body curved. The way that-

A bell rang, signaling that someone had walked into the store. Kageyama opened his eyes and smiled awkwardly at the person who just walked in. He was an elderly man who walked straight towards the beer. Of course it wasn't Hinata. Just another drunk. Just Kageyama's luck.

At The Crow, Hinata was getting onstage for his next performance. He'd surely blow them all away.

"You'll do great, Sunshine," Bokuto said, patting him on the head as he walked onstage.

"Thanks, Bo!"

The music started once again and Hinata was moving. He was moving and everything was going great so far. Until he missed a move. And his foot was going on the wrong direction. Oh well, he could just change it up. He did so, but his body still moved fluidly. No one would know that he messed up. In fact, it seemed like the crowd was cheering even louder now. Then the song ended. He struck his ending pose and the crowd roared. Hinata smiled as he walked offstage, but an arm grabbed his shoulder. He turned to see a middle aged man standing behind him with a scruffy beard and greasy hair.

"You selling?"

Hinata's stomach plummeted. "You buying?"

"Of course, cutie," the man said, tucking one of Hinata's curls behind his ear.

"Okay," the redhead said. "I'll get my jacket and my bag. Don't go anywhere."

The ginger felt anxiety situate in the pit of his stomach as he went and gathered up his things, shoving them in his bag.

"You leaving already?" Daichi's voice came from the doorway.

"Yeah," Hinata said, avoiding eye contact. "I have a job."

He heard Daichi sigh. "You don't- you shouldn't have to do this."

"I need the money," the redhead declared, turning to the manager. "I'm sorry."

He slung his bag over his shoulder and brushed past Daichi on his way out, meeting the man from before by the door.

"Ready?"

"Oh, yeah," Hinata said. "But I've gotta buy some condoms first. Which _you're_ wearing."

"You'd think that someone like you would always be stocked up," the man said.

The ginger sighed. "I wasn't exactly planning to do this tonight."

Kageyama was still working. He was once again leaned over the counter, nearly falling asleep and ready for his shift to end. Then, the bell rang once again. He looked up and was delighted to see Hinata.

"Hey," he said, trying to hide his smile.

"Hi."

But something was different. Something was wrong. There was a man waiting for Hinata by the door and the redhead seemed anxious. Very anxious. And he was buying condoms. Kageyama skeptically scanned the items and told him his total before watching the ginger walk out the door, leaving with the man. Wait. Hinata wasn't going to have sex with this guy, was he? But this man must've been at least fifteen years older than him!

Then it dawned on him. He was a stripper, and was probably a prostitute as well. The kid obviously didn't like it, seeing that he looked near tears just before. Maybe Kageyama would just have to ask him about it later.


	6. Long Nights, Strange Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are picking up, ladies and gentlemen

Hinata walked with the man to a hotel down the street. The lump in his throat grew as the man paid for a room for the night.

"How much do you want," the man asked when they got to the room.

"Fifty for a handjob, hundred for a blowjob, one seventy five for a fuck."

"You're expensive, aren't you?"

"Take it or leave it," Hinata said.

The man handed Hinata two hundred dollars. "I'll give you this for a nice, long fuck. How's that sound?"

The redhead gulped. "Sounds good to me."

And so they began. Hinata submitted and let this man do whatever he wanted to him. He began to regret it even more as time went on. It hurt. Surprisingly so, since he had so much prior... experience. A chorus of moans and groans rang out around him. He closed his eyes. Tried to escape. Then the man was pulling out of him and they were changing positions so that the man was lying on his back, Hinata on his lap.

"Ride me," he said.

Hinata robotically complied. He could tell this would be a long night.

Meanwhile, Kenma waited in their apartment. Why wasn't Shouyou back yet? Maybe something came up. The dancer called Daichi.

"Where's Hinata?"

He heard the manager sigh. "He had a job."

Kenma knew what that meant. "Okay, thanks."

He hung up and decided to shoot a text to Shouyou.

**Kenma >> Stay safe tonight.**

He waited for a reply that he knew wouldn't come. Shouyou's jobs could last from one hour to five or more. He just wished he could make him stop. Make him give up this job, as it was unhealthy and dangerous. Someone could hurt him, kidnap him, kill him. Kenma refused to go to sleep that night.

When Hinata got home, it was three in the morning. His legs were sore and so was the rest of him. This man didn't go easy on him just because he was small, or because he was so young. He trudged through the door and was met with a nearly asleep Kenma lying on the couch who started awake.

"Hey," Kenma said. "How was it?"

Hinata made a disgusted face and walked over, flopping down on the chair next to the couch.

"Horrible," he said with a bitter scoff.

"Why do you do it then?"

The ginger stared at Kenma incredulously.

"I have to," he said. "I need to help pay rent and I need to buy food and I need to save for college. I don't want to, but I need to." He felt his eyes well up with tears and brought his hands to his face. "I hate this."

"You can just do something else," Kenma said. "You have plenty of talents, you can use those to get money."

"I can't," Hinata said. "I don't have talents, I can't do anything. The only thing I'm good at is taking a dick up my ass."

"Says who?"

Hinata let out a scream of frustration and stood, running down the hallway to his bedroom. He let himself fall onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Why would Kenma say that? He knew his past. He knew the horrors he endured. How his childhood was stolen.

He heard a knock on the door.

"Hinata," Kenma said. "Let me in. I'm sorry."

"Just go to sleep," the redhead yelled. "I'm tired. I'm going to take a shower."

"Alright," Kenma replied. "Let me know if you need anything."

When he heard Kenma's footsteps retreat, the ginger grabbed his cigarettes from beneath his bed where he hid them- Kenma didn't like him smoking. He took the pack and went out to the back of the building, lighting a cigarette and putting it in his mouth. He breathed deeply, relishing in the feeling of the smoke burning its way down into his lungs.

He stayed out in the cold that night until he smoked almost half the pack. He just wanted to smoke the pain away. He longed for something stronger, but once again, money stood in the way. Money always stood in his way. It seemed like he'd never be happy, that everything would keep getting more and more expensive and he'd never be able to really live.

When Kageyama awoke the next morning, there was another text from an unknown number.

**Unknown >> You can't run from me forever. I'll find you.**

The guitarist felt his heart stop beating. Oikawa got a new number just to harass him? It was suddenly hard to breathe. He couldn't let him find him again, not after what happened between them before. Kageyama's eyes were flooded with tears and he felt his breathing pick up. He must've been getting loud because Suga came in.

"Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

"I-I can't... I can't," Kageyama gasped.

"Here, breathe with me," Suga said. "Breathe."

Kageyama looked at him and matched his breathing with that of the older boy.

"Better?"

The guitarist nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Suga insisted. "Now what was that about?"

"I... I keep getting these texts."

"From?"

Kageyama was at a loss for words. He didn't want to let Suga know that Oikawa was trying to come back. The future actor already knew about what happened between them before, and the guitarist really didn't want to worry him.

"Just tell me," Suga said. "If it's enough to make you panic, then you need to tell me."

"Oikawa," Kageyama said. "It's Oikawa."

He heard Suga take a sharp intake of breath.

"Okay," he said. "Have you blocked his number?"

"He just got a new one," Kageyama replied. "I'll just block it again."

"Good. But from now on, I'm driving you places and you're not staying home alone."

Kageyama sighed. He knew Suga would do this. Be overprotective. Though he felt like a burden, he was secretly thankful.


	7. And They Say She's In The Class A Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS!???! IN ONE DAY!!??!  
> yes, because i've been writing an incredible amount today.

"You should come to my performance tonight," Hinata said as he slid Kageyama's coffee across the counter. "I promise you won't regret it. And there won't be any... interruptions this time."

"I'll see," Kageyama said. "I have to work, too, remember?"

"Well I'm on break now," Hinata declared. "Want to hang out here for a while?"

And they did. They sat at the table in the very back of the cafe and talked. They talked about Kageyama's classes and his band, they talked about Hinata's work and his aspirations.

"I want to be a writer," Hinata said. "A writer and a motivational speaker."

"What would you talk about to motivate people?"

"Let's just say I've had a rough childhood," the ginger stated. "Maybe I'll tell you about it one day."

Kageyama hummed in acknowledgment. Maybe he'd eventually tell Hinata about his past, as well.

"What kind of stories do you want to write?"

"Anything," Hinata replied. "I prefer fiction, but I kind of want to write about myself, too."

"I'd read it," Kageyama said.

"And when you release your first album," Hinata smiled. "I'll be the first to buy it." He held out a pinkie. "Deal?"

Kageyama hooked his pinkie around the redhead's. "Deal."

Suga honked the horn from outside the cafe, meaning that Kageyama had to leave.

"I'll try to come tonight," he said as he walked out the door.

The guitarist jogged towards Suga's car and got in, buckling up.

"Who was that?"

"My friend, Hinata," Kageyama replied. "The one I told you about earlier."

"He's a barista, too?" Suga asked.

"Yeah, he works two jobs."

Suga hummed in response. "I'm glad you're making friends."

The raven haired boy was glad, as well. Within the past year, he'd made two close friends that he knew he'd keep. That was a big deal for him. Suga and Hinata were people that actually found him tolerable. Him and all of his annoying awkwardness.

Kageyama went to his classes and then to his scheduled band practice, which had to be cut short because he was called in early to work with the promise that he'd be able to leave early, as well. He'd actually be able to see Hinata dance again.

Meanwhile, Hinata was just finishing his shift at the cafe. Kageyama had been on his mind all day long. Hopefully he'd be able to come see him dance.

After a long day as a barista, the redhead went to The Crow. He trudged through the cold air and pulled his collar up to shield his face from the harsh wind. He walked through the door and was thankful for the warm air that greeted him. As he went to the kitchen to once again help with the dishes, Hinata kept an eye on the door, expecting Kageyama to walk through any minute. Waiting was killing him.

It was after his first performance that the guitarist walked in. Hinata dropped everything and ran over to him by the door.

"You came," he said. "I'll blow you away with my next dance."

"I'm sure of it, Sunshine," Kageyama replied.

Hinata led him to a table and sat down with him. Kageyama picked up a menu and started browsing.

"I recommend the dinner special," Hinata said. "It's my favorite."

"Alright," Kageyama agreed. "I'll try it."

Hinata placed the order in and waited for it to be made before bringing it out to Kageyama. The guitarist took a bite and was shocked.

"This is amazing," he said. "It's perfect."

"I know, right?" Hinata was beaming. "Our chef, Asahi, he's really the best, isn't he?"

"Definitely," Kageyama agreed.

Kageyama ate and soon enough, it was time for Hinata's next performance. He was dressed in something different from what he was in last time Kageyama saw him dance. When he approached the stage, there were shouts of "go, Sunshine" and other praise. The guitarist saw Hinata smile slightly as he mounted the pole.

The music began and Kageyama was immediately mesmerized once again. He was captivated by the performance and sucked into the music. It was slower this time, but still as sexy as last time. The dances were two different types of sexy, this being a slow, beautiful kind.

And, once again, the music ended. This time, it went out with one long bang that was almost drowned out by applause. Kageyama found himself whooping and cheering along with the rest of the crowd. Hinata Shouyou was truly marvelous.

"Did you like it?" Hinata asked when he got back to where Kageyama was.

"I loved it," the guitarist replied. "That was... Insane. Who's your choreographer?"

"You're looking at him!"

Hinata laughed as Kageyama's eyes widened and his jaw dropped because damn, the raven haired boy was cute.

"You made all that up?"

"Of course," Hinata giggled.

He couldn't help it. When Kageyama was around, he just got so giddy. Maybe this was the beginning of something greater.

"Want to come home with me tonight?" Kageyama asked.

Hinata was stunned for a second. "Uh- If Daichi says I can go, then sure."

The redhead found his manager.

"Is it okay if I-"

"Yes," Daichi said, cutting him off. Hinata beamed. "You always work your ass off and almost never take breaks, so I'll let you go home early for tonight only."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Hinata said. "You won't regret this- I'll work even harder tomorrow."

He ran back to Kageyama and grabbed his hand. "Let's go."


	8. Stuck In Her Daydream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYSSSS i'm almost done writing! i've got one chapter left to write for this and then i can post it all!  
> but beware- the angst train is coming.

They were both a little drunk. They were underage, but Nishinoya snuck them a bit of alcohol- just enough to give them a buzz.

When Suga parked the car at the apartment, Hinata and Kageyama got out, the latter stopping to say something to Suga.

"Why don't you go back to the bar," he said. "Hang out with the manager?"

Suga smiled. "Alright. Behave, you two!"

He drove off and Kageyama let them into the apartment. He shut the door and locked it, beckoning Hinata to sit on the couch.

"Want something to drink?"

"Do you have any beer?"

Kageyama nodded. Suga kept some beer in the house and the guitarist really didn't care if he minded them drinking it. He was too worried about pleasing Hinata.

He grabbed two beers and opened them, handing one to the ginger as he sat down next to him.

"So," Hinata said. "What do you want to do?"

"Talk, I guess," Kageyama said. "How'd you get your job at The Crow?"

Hinata's face heated up. "It's kind of embarrassing, actually."

"I won't judge," Kageyama said matter-of-factly.

"Okay," Hinata smiled sheepishly. "I've been a prostitute since the day I turned eighteen. Daichi found me after I got beat up by a customer, and he took me in. I was homeless at the time, but then I met Kuroo, someone who also works at The Crow. He introduced me to Kenma and he decided to take me in as long as I helped pay rent. That's when Daichi hired me, too. I told him I loved to dance and one of their last strippers quit, so he hired me."

"Are you still, you know," Kageyama said, taking another drink. "A prostitute?"

"Yeah," Hinata said with a nervous laugh. "Promise me you won't turn me in, though."

Kageyama chuckled. "I won't."

Hinata seemed to relax after that. They drank a lot and then Kageyama had an idea. A stupid, stupid idea.

"You know," he said. "I really like you."

Hinata smiled. "I like you, too."

"No, not like that," Kageyama said. "I like you, like..." He paused. "Let me show you."

The alcohol was talking as the guitarist grabbed Hinata's hand and led him to his bedroom. Kageyama went in and as soon as he shut the door behind them, he grabbed Hinata's shoulder and turned him around, bringing their lips together. They kissed passionately for a long time, small moans escaping the smaller's mouth, before Kageyama released his hold on him. Before the redhead could speak, Kageyama smacked their lips together again and clumsily walked them towards the bed, pushing Hinata down onto his back.

Hinata stared up at him. "You... You want me to have sex with you?"

Kageyama blushed. "What? No! I... Uh..."

"That's all you wanted, wasn't it," Hinata said, a twinge of hurt in his voice. "You never cared about me. You just care about my body. And you wanted it for free. You're just like everyone else." The redhead got up and walked towards the front door.

"Fuck, no," Kageyama said. "Wait!"

But it was too late. Hinata walked out the door and down the stairs. He was gone. And Kageyama was alone yet again.

He raced to the phone and called Suga.

"What's up, Kags?"

"I kissed Hinata." Kageyama gulped when Suga squealed on the other end.

"How was it? Was it great? Are you guys-"

"He got mad and left," Kageyama said. "He thinks I only wanted him for sex."

Suga gasped. "So you're alone?"

"Yes."

"I'm on my way," Suga said. "I'm sure nothing bad will happen, but keep the doors locked just in case. I have a key."

"I already locked the-"

Just then there was a knock on the front door.

"Hang on," Kageyama said, going to look through the peep hole. His stomach dropped at the face that greeted him. "It's Oikawa," he whispered.

"Tobio," came the older boy's voice. "I know you're in there. Let me in, I just want to talk."

"Don't answer him," Suga said. "I'm on my way. I'll be there in five minutes. Don't hang up."

Kageyama couldn't say anything. His worst fears were all coming true in one night- being rejected, and coming face to face with his ex once again.

"Come on," Oikawa said. "If you don't, you won't like what happens."

"What are you gonna do," Kageyama asked with a wavering voice.

"Let's just say, I know about some friends you've made since we broke up. That shitty actor, that shrimpy prostitute."

"Don't do anything to them," Kageyama said. "Please."

"Then let me in."

"Don't do it," Suga said. "I'm in the parking lot with a friend. We're on our way up. We'll take care of him."

Kageyama heard shouting voices in the hallway.

"Hey," came a deep voice. "What the hell do you want?"

"I was just looking to talk to my boyfriend," Oikawa said innocently.

" _Ex_ boyfriend," Suga corrected. "Leave. He doesn't want to see you."

"Alright," said the chocolate haired boy. "I'll go. Goodbye, Tobio. Have a nice life."

Oikawa walked down the stairs and Suga unlocked the door to a white faced Kageyama standing in the doorway. The future actor stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the guitarist.

"You're okay," he said. "You're safe, I promise."


	9. Been This Way Since Eighteen, But Lately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for self harm at the end of this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO ALL  
> i'll just leave this here.

__Hinata walked home. He walked straight into his apartment and grabbed the cigarettes once again.

"What are you doing?" Kenma asked.

"Going for a smoke," Hinata replied.

Kenma got up and was walking towards him.

"Stop," Kenma said, reaching for the pack of cigarettes. "You're going to kill yourself eventually."

"Good," Hinata said. "I'd be doing the world a goddamn favor."

He wrenched his cigarettes out of Kenma's grip and walked toward the door, attempting to slam it behind him, only to have Kenma follow him out.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," Kenma demanded.

"It means," Hinata began. "That I'm good for nothing. All anyone wants me for is my body."

"You can't possibly think that," Kenma said. "You think I only care about your body? You think Daichi and Kuroo and Bokuto only care about your body?"

"I don't know anyone anymore," Hinata stated, defeated as he walked quickly down the stairs and out the front door.

"Hey," Kenma called after him. "Let's just talk for a minute. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Hinata said. "Just leave me alone."

"No," Kenma deadpanned. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to fucking talk!" Hinata was screaming, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

Kenma stood in shock for a second before finding his voice. "Fine," he said. "I'll... I'll be upstairs."

The pudding head turned and walked back into the building, leaving Hinata crying on his knees at the front door.

"Don't leave me alone," he cried softly. "Please, don't leave me alone."

Meanwhile, Daichi, Suga, and Kageyama were sitting on the couch, the latter still shaking.

"Why did I kiss him?" Kageyama whispered. "I should've known he wouldn't want me."

"What exactly did he say," Daichi asked.

"He... He said that I only wanted him for sex," Kageyama said. "But that's not true. It couldn't be farther from the truth."

"Then he probably wants you," Suga said. "But he just got scared. I'm sure that if you explain everything to him, he'll understand. Right, Dai?" Daichi nodded. "Now," Suga continued. "Are you sure you're okay? After what happened with Oikawa?"

"I'm fine," Kageyama said.

Suga placed an arm around him. "You're not. You're still shaking like a leaf."

"I said I'm fine, okay?"

Kageyama stood up and headed to his room with clenched fists. He faintly heard Daichi say behind him, "he's definitely not okay."

The raven haired boy leaned on his closed door and fell to the floor. He sat with his legs to his chest, elbows resting upon them and hands covering his eyes. His hands were soon wet with tears. Dammit, why was he crying? Was he some sort of baby?

No. He just had no clue how to communicate his emotions and didn't know what to do. He should've made himself clear before kissing Hinata. That was all his fault. Damn him and his stupid handicapped brain. Why couldn't he just be normal? Why did his stupid syndrome have to make his parents, everyone at school, and now even Hinata, hate him?

And what about Oikawa? What if he came back? Kageyama's Asperger's also made it hard for him to realize how abusive Oikawa was when they were in a relationship until the older boy had almost driven him to suicide. He didn't know how to communicate his feelings or how to interpret other people's feelings, either.

He didn't realize how loud his sobs were until he felt Suga pushing on the door. He moved out of the way and let the older boy in. Suga knelt down in front of Kageyama and wrapped his arms around him as he sobbed. The guitarist normally wasn't one to show this much emotion, but after the day he had, he just felt broken. Suga released him after the tears stopped.

"Why don't we get to bed," he said.

He helped Kageyama up and guided him towards his bed, helping the slightly drunk boy get under the covers. It was in this moment that the guitarist realized just how awful he felt. He was angry with himself for making Hinata upset. He was sad that he ruined his chances with the other boy. He was downright terrified that Oikawa found him. How did he figure out where Kageyama lived? Would he ever stop?

Suga turned the lights off and went back out to the living room, leaving Kageyama in the dark with his thoughts.

Hinata walked upstairs several hours later. He was still slightly drunk and the nicotine didn't make him feel any better. Kenma was already asleep when he walked through the door. He retreated to his bedroom and grabbed his razor. He hadn't used it in a long time, but had kept it just in case. He held it over his now bare thigh. He'd have to cut higher up so he could still wear shorts.

But did he really want to do this? Did he really want to throw away all his hard work at managing his depression?

The answer was yes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't hate me.


	10. Her Face Seems Slowly Sinking Wasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been doing video editing all day and honestly today has been rough but i've never felt more blessed in my life

Hinata slowly woke up to Kenma knocking on his door. He was late for his shift at the cafe. Dammit. He sat up a little too quickly, making his headache worse. His pants were off and his thighs were still bloody from the night before, the blood having dripped onto the covers of his bed. He flipped over the blanket, hoping Kenma wouldn't notice if he came into Hinata's room for some reason.

The redhead quickly got dressed, retreating into the bathroom to wipe the blood crusted on his thighs. He was so late for work. There goes three hours worth of his pay.

"Have a good day," Kenma said as Hinata walked out the door.

"Thanks," Hinata murmured back.

He headed to the cafe and immediately begged his boss for forgiveness.

"I know there's no excuse for this," he said. "But I just had a really bad night, and I promise it won't ever happen again."

"Well," his boss said. "I'll let it slide just this once. You've never been even a minute late before and plus, you look awful, kid. Are you alright?"

Hinata's eyes widened. "O-Of course," he lied. "I'm fine. Thank you so much."

He quickly dodged any further questions and got to work.

When Kageyama woke that morning, he was late for band practice. He just didn't care.

He went over to the bathroom mirror and took a look at himself. His cheeks were blotchy and his eyes were swollen from crying himself to sleep the night before. His phone had several missed calls and angry messages from Yachi, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima. He ignored all of them, instead getting dressed and having Suga drive him to the cafe at which Hinata worked. Kageyama fidgeted the whole way there.

"You okay?" Suga asked.

Kageyama nodded. "I will be as soon as Hinata is."

Suga parked across the street from the cafe and Kageyama went in.

As soon as Hinata saw him, he froze. The redhead quickly regained his composure.

"Hinata," Kageyama began. "I-"

"What would you like today, sir?" Hinata asked simply.

Kageyama stared. "Don't run away from this. Please. I'm sor-"

"What do you want to order," the ginger said through clenched teeth.

The guitarist sighed. "Coffee," he choked. "Black."

Hinata silently rung up his total and took his money, not even wishing him a good day like he does with every other customer. Kageyama felt his stomach sink. Hinata obviously wanted nothing to do with him. And he couldn't blame him, either. The guitarist took his coffee and left.

"How'd it go," Suga asked when he got back to the car.

Kageyama sighed. "Not well."

Suga frowned. "I'm sorry," he said. "Maybe I could have Daichi talk to him."

The blue eyed boy shrugged. "You can try, but I don't know if he'll listen."

Suga drove him to band practice where he was met with angry comments and questions about why he was so late. He went to his classes next and didn't pay any attention. He looked over his shoulder everywhere he went absolutely terrified that Oikawa was lurking in some corner. He never was, though.

Hinata didn't eat. He couldn't. He had a constant lump in his throat and Kageyama deciding to show up that day made everything worse. He was far too nauseated to eat. What if Kageyama really did only want him for sex? What if he was taken advantage of? What if Kageyama didn't want to pay?

He thought Kageyama was different. He thought he really cared. Hinata was heartbroken. He wanted an actual relationship with him. Not one based around sex.

When Hinata finished his shift at the cafe, he went straight to The Crow, hoping that Kageyama would just leave him alone. As soon as he walked in, he was cornered by Daichi.

"We need to talk," the manager said.

He grabbed Hinata by the arm and led him up to the break room at a pace that was almost too fast for the redhead. Daichi let him go with a slight push towards the couch.

"What happened with Kageyama last night," Daichi demanded.

"Uh-" Hinata said. "He, uh, wait. Why are you so mad about this?"

"Because you totally blew him off," Daichi said. "And for no reason."

Hinata was enraged. "No reason? He just wanted to have sex with me! And the only reason he got close with me was because he wanted it for free!"

"It's not like that," Daichi said. "He wants a relationship with you and thought that kissing you was a good way to let you know."

"And how do you know that?" Hinata questioned. "For all I know, he just changed his story when he realized I got mad."

"Hinata," Daichi yelled. Hinata stared up at him with wavering stubbornness. "You're overthinking this. Not everyone is just going to use you for sex!"

The ginger went silent. All the anger he felt was replaced by sadness. Tears sprang to his eyes and poured down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a choked sob. He saw Daichi relax before putting his hand on Hinata's shoulder.

"He's gonna hate me," Hinata said. "Why am I like this? Why am I so awful?"

"It's not your fault," Daichi said. "You're just used to being used. Getting into an actual relationship is scary."

"I'm scared," Hinata cried. "I'm so scared, what if he leaves me? What if he changes his mind and... What if he forces me?"

"Hinata." Daichi wrapped his arms around the redhead as he began to cry more. "He would never do that."

"But how do you know?"

"Do you like him?" Hinata nodded. "Do you want to be in a relationship with him?" He nodded again. "Well, then you're just going to have to trust him."

"Yeah, I guess," Hinata sniffled.

He just wanted to keep crying. He felt guilty and angry with himself and he was just scared. Scared of an intimate relationship. Scared of trusting someone.

But if he really loved Kageyama, he'd have to get over it.


	11. Crumbling Like Pastries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a VERY short chapter. sorry. but i finished writing and i'm going to post another sometime today.

"Are you sure?" Suga was saying into the phone. "Alright. We'll be right there." He turned to Kageyama. "We're going to The Crow. Daichi explained things to Hinata."

"Is he mad at me?"

"No," Suga said. "Daichi says he feels awful. He... Well, Hinata can explain things to you when we get there."

Kageyama was happy to have the day off work as he and Suga got into the car and headed to The Crow. Suga had to practically drag Kageyama through the door before Kuroo met them there.

"He's upstairs," he said. "I'll lead you guys there."

They went through a door and up a narrow staircase before they came to a hallway. They went into the first door on the right. Kageyama walked in to see Hinata sitting on the couch, legs curled to his chest and head down. Kuroo left and Daichi beckoned Suga to stand near the door with him. Kageyama took a breath in to talk, but before he could get a word out, Hinata cut him off.

"Please don't leave," he said in a quiet, teary voice. "Please don't leave me."

Kageyama sat on the couch and put his arm around the redhead's shoulders. "I'm not leaving," he said. "And I'm definitely not using you."

Suddenly, Hinata sprung up and wrapped his arms around Kageyama's neck, pulling him down into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," the redhead cried. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Kageyama said, rocking them back and forth slightly. "I'm sorry, too. I thought that kissing you would-"

"I was being sensitive and stupid."

"No," the guitarist denied. "I'm sure you have a good reason." He felt Hinata tense. "Which you don't even have to tell me about. It's fine, I promise."

"And you won't leave?"

Kageyama smiled. "I won't leave."

Hinata was then grabbing his cheeks and planting their lips together. Kageyama was shocked at first, but relaxed into the kiss, arms tightening around Hinata. The redhead chewed on his lip and Kageyama used that opportunity to slip his tongue into the smaller's mouth. They kissed passionately for what felt like an eternity before Hinata pulled away, lips swollen and breathing heavy. Then he looked over at Suga and Daichi.

"S-Should we..." Suga trailed off, pointing at the door.

"No," Hinata said. "I-I should get back to work, anyway." He stood and began to walk away behind Suga and Daichi, Kageyama beginning to follow, when he turned around. "We can do that any time you want," Hinata said.

Kageyama blushed. "O-Okay."

Hinata had two performances that night and Kageyama stayed for both of them. It was at the end of the night that he walked up to Daichi.

"I have a band," he said. "The Black Birds. I was wondering if, maybe, we could perform here? Just to get our name out there."

Daichi smiled. "Of course," he said. "It'd be great to change things up a bit and have some live music."

Kageyama was ecstatic. "Thank you so much," he said. "You won't regret this, I promise."

"I'm sure I won't," Daichi replied, patting Kageyama on the back as he walked away.

The guitarist approached Hinata. "I'm gonna leave soon," he said. "I've got an early practice tomorrow."

Hinata pouted. "I wish I didn't have to work so I could go watch."

"Well," Kageyama began. "We'll be performing here at some point, so you can see us then."

Hinata beamed. "Really?! That's great! I can't wait!"

Things were finally starting to look up. For the both of them.


	12. And They Scream, "The Worst Things In Life Come Free To Us"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smol birb has another job

It was later that night that Hinata had another job. He paled at the sight of the man in front of him. He had an extremely large build and was covered in tattoos. His appearance was overall intimidating.

"You're pretty young, ain't ya," the man questioned. "Well don't worry. I'll take good care of you. How much?"

"O-One seventy five."

The man scoffed. "No way someone so small can be so expensive. I'll give you a hundred."

"No deal," Hinata said. "I'm not cutting my price for you."

"Fine," the man said. "But you better be tight, then. We're going to my house."

"Let me just get my st-"

"No. We're going now."

The man grabbed Hinata by his bicep and walked him to his car. They got in and Hinata was glad he just happened to have a condom on him. He'd just have to go to the bar late and grab his things.

They pulled up to a tiny house with several cars in the driveway. Hinata gulped. They walked in and several people were roaming about the house, talking and yelling. Hinata knew it wasn't a party because there was no music, no lights. Most people were smoking or arguing or drinking.

"Do all these people live here?" Hinata asked.

"Yep," the man said. "But don't worry. You're all mine. No one'll bother us."

The man led Hinata to a bedroom with four beds in it, one in each corner. He was led to the bed in the far left corner, which had a curtain around it. Hinata got onto the bed and so did the man, closing the curtain behind him. Before Hinata could do anything, he was being kissed and his clothes were being ripped off. He let it all happen, but let out a silent scream when he was invaded without any preparation. He felt a hand on his thigh.

"Oh," the man said, tracing his finger over Hinata's cuts. "Little slut is a self harmer, huh?"

Hinata looked away. The man thrusted into him harder.

"You're a slut and you know it," the man teased. "Tell me you're a slut. Tell me."

But Hinata stayed silent. He waited until the man orgasmed and it was finally over. Well, it was supposed to be, but after a minute, the man went in for round two.

"Wait," Hinata said. "If you want another round, you've got to pay for it."

"I don't think so," the man said.

Hinata struggled. "No, seriously, get off. We're done."

But the man just prepared for round two. Hinata squirmed and screamed, a punch being sent to his face. It hit him square in the jaw just as someone opened the curtains.

"Let the kid go," said the man that was standing by the bed. He was bald and well built. "He said he's done, so he's done."

The man reluctantly let go of Hinata, who rushed to put his clothes back on. The man who helped him stayed while the man who fucked him left.

"I'm Tanaka Ryuunosuke. What's your name," said the bald guy. "Well, not your real one, but the one you put out there."

"S-Sunshine," Hinata said.

Tanaka hummed in response. "Did... Did he hurt you?"

"N-No," Hinata stammered. "I'm just a little sore, that's all."

"Do you need a ride home?"

The redhead weighed his options. He was exhausted and a walk all the way to the bar and then all the way back home seemed impossible. And besides, Tanaka seemed nice.

"Sure."

They walked out of the house, Tanaka leading him to his car.

"Just take me to The Crow," Hinata said. "I can walk home from there."

"Are you sure?"

Hinata nodded. Tanaka drove him to the bar and let him out at the front entrance.

"Wait," Tanaka said, scribbling something down on a scrap piece of paper. He handed it to Hinata. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

Hinata took the paper and said a thank you before turning to the bar and walking inside. It was one in the morning now. When the ginger walked up to the break room where the night staff had their things, he saw several messages and missed calls on his phone.

**Kageyama >> Where'd you go? You just disappeared**

**Daichi >> Did you leave already?**

**Kenma >> It's late. Are you okay??**

He sent out the same text to everyone: "I just had a job. On my way home now."

He grabbed his things and changed his clothes, walking out and heading towards his apartment. It was a grueling walk because he was just so damn exhausted and he just wanted to sleep. When he walked in the door, Kenma was sleeping on the couch. Hinata walked over and draped a blanket around him before retreating to the shower. It had been an insanely long day. He fell asleep that night with dreams once again plagued with nightmares.


	13. Cause We're Just Under The Upper Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> camp is over and i'm so glad to be in my own house with my own bed but i leave for tennessee on monday lol

Kageyama was stressed.

He hadn't gotten a text from Oikawa in a while. This would normally be a good thing, but with the threat he'd made before, it made Kageyama nervous. He didn't want to let Suga or Hinata out of his sight, which was difficult since they both had lives of their own, and so did Kageyama, himself.

The musical prodigy went to band practice that day with a lot on his mind and almost forgot to tell everyone the news.

"We're allowed to perform at The Crow," he said. "We just have to find a day that we can all go, and we get the stage for that night."

Yachi beamed. "Seriously?!" She squealed. "I can't believe this!"

"Yeah," said Tsukishima. "It almost makes up for you blowing us all off the other day. Where were you?"

Kageyama frowned. "I was just in a bad spot. A lot was going on, but it's all sorted out now." Tsukishima opened his mouth to speak again, but Kageyama cut him off. "Don't worry about it," he said through clenched teeth.

"How'd you get them to let us play," Yamaguchi asked.

"My friend works there," Kageyama began. "And my roommate's friend is the manager."

They began to play, Kageyama losing himself in the music. He actually brought his electric this time, so it made things sound a ton better. They went off on a tangent again, not actually playing their songs, but just improvising music in general. It wasn't very productive, but they still had plenty of time before they'd be playing at The Crow.

Practice ended and Kageyama went to his classes. He kept looking over his shoulder, expecting Oikawa to be lurking everywhere. It was getting to his head. He couldn't relax no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't pay attention in class, either.

Then, it was time for him to work at the convenience store, and, God, was he paranoid. He could tell this would be a long day.

Hinata walked into The Crow. He dragged his feet because after the awful night he had and the long hours as a barista, he was exhausted. It felt like every step was a struggle and he was about to fall over at any moment. He went up to the break room and sat on the couch, leaning back and closing his eyes. Maybe he could rest for a second before he had to get changed and start working.

"Hinata! Hinata!"

The ginger was being shaken awake. He opened his eyes slowly and focused in on Bokuto standing above him.

"There you are, Sunshine. Why're you sleeping?"

Hinata stretched. "What time is it?"

"Four thirty," Bokuto said.

The redhead's eyes shot open. Four thirty? That means he was asleep for almost an hour! Daichi was going to kill him!

"I'm awake," he said. "I'm awake, sorry. Let me get dressed and I'll be right down."

Bokuto left and Hinata rushed to get dressed. He ran down the stairs and immediately approached Daichi.

"Listen," he began. "I'm so sorry, I'm just so exhausted and I've barely slept in the past couple of days but I promise I'll-"

"Calm down, Sunshine," Daichi said. "First of all, your shirt is inside out.". Hinata looked down and sure enough, the seams were showing. "Second," the manager continued. "It's fine this time, but if this keeps happening, we might have to cut your hours so you can catch a break."

Hinata's eyes widened. "No! I can't do that! I really need all the money I can get!"

"Your health comes first," Daichi said firmly. "This can't be healthy."

"I don't care," Hinata said. "I want to go to college. I can't do that without money."

"There's got to be something else you can do."

Hinata took a deep breath. "Whatever. I'll just go... Do the dishes."

Before Daichi could get another word in, the redhead was in the kitchen and heading towards the sink.

Kageyama was practically falling asleep behind the counter at the convenience store when he heard the bell ring. He slowly looked up and his stomach sank. Oikawa was standing near the door, but hadn't seen the guitarist yet. Kageyama ducked into the break room to find the manager there.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Can you... Can you take this customer? I... He's..."

The elderly manager stood. "Sure I can. Do you know him?"

Kageyama could only nod, for the lump in his throat was constricting him.

"Alright," said the manager. "I'll take care of it."

Kageyama sat down in the break room and buried his face in his hands. He heard the manager checking out Oikawa's items and heard the latter make polite banter. He was good at that. Good at seeming nice. But when it was just the two of them, he turned into a demon.

"He's gone," the manager said, coming back in. Kageyama stood up and swayed. "Are you okay? You seem a little... unsteady."

"I'm fine," Kageyama replied.

He walked back out and took his position by the register. It was a long night filled with paranoia.


	14. And Go Mad For A Couple Grams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some smexy times and a sneak peek of hinata's backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yo homeslices i'm about to drop some low quality writing

Lips. Lips pressed together and teeth clacking against each other. Kageyama had his tongue in his mouth and, for the first time ever, Hinata actually enjoyed a kiss. He enjoyed the hands wandering all over his body and he willed them to do more.

"Kageyama," he groaned.

Said guitarist began sucking on Hinata's neck. The tiny dancer writhed under his touch. Their shirts were off and Hinata was lying on Kageyama's bed, the musical prodigy straddling him and pinning down his hands, doing whatever he pleased. And Hinata loved it. He loved it so much and he never wanted it to end. He felt wanted, legitimate, needed.

The two finally got the chance to do this. It felt like they were waiting an eternity. They were both in need of affection and were happy to give it to each other.

Kageyama's hands moved to grasp his hips. Hinata brought his hands up and wrapped his arms around the guitarist, planting their lips together once again. Kageyama pulled away and began sucking on Hinata's right nipple, rubbing the other one with his thumb.

Hinata moaned. "Fuck, Tobio," he said.

Kageyama hummed in response and reached down to grab the hem of Hinata's pants. The redhead stopped him, grabbing onto his hands.

"Not yet," he said. "I'm not ready."

It was a strange thing for a prostitute to say. Yes, he's had sex countless times, but he's never made love before. He wasn't sure if he was quite ready for that.

"Alright," Kageyama said. "I'm willing to wait. For you."

He let Hinata get up and they put their shirts back on.

"I should probably go," Hinata said. "It's really late and I still have work in the morning."

Kageyama nodded. "Want me to drive you home?"

"No, I'll be fine."

Hinata walked out into the crisp autumn air. Winter was coming soon, as was Kageyama's birthday. What did the boy want? Well, honestly, what could Hinata even afford? He'd have to do some looking around.

Kageyama shut the door after Hinata walked out. He leaned against it and caught his breath. God, that man was sexy. It would be incredibly hard to wait for him, but he'd do it. He loved Hinata. So he'd wait for him.

The guitarist turned and looked back at Suga, who was sitting on the couch and had looked up from his book to stare at him with a smile.

"How was it," he asked eagerly. "Which base did you get to?"

Kageyama scoffed. "How old are you, fifteen?"

"Oh, shut up," Suga laughed. "What all did you do?"

"Didn't go all the way... yet," Kageyama added. "He says he's not ready, and I'm waiting for him."

"I'll bet that getting into a serious relationship is scary for him," Suga said. "Especially since he's had sex so many times before. He probably just wants to make sure he really loves you first."

Kageyama nodded. "How long to you think he'll take?"

Suga shrugged. "That's up to him."

\--

Hinata struggled under the man's grip. His frail and bruised body was no match for that of his father.

"Hold still, boy," came his voice. "We're gonna put you to use."

"No, Daddy," the twelve year old cried. "Please, don't make me do this!"

But his father was walking away from his son who was chained to the bed and opened the door, revealing his several friends. These would soon become the regulars.

The first man was approaching him, Hinata all the while screaming for his father, begging for mercy. His cries fell on deaf ears.

The redhead shot up straight in bed, sweat coating his forehead. He looked down to his hands. That's right. He wasn't chained up in his parent's basement. He wasn't that scared little kid anymore. He was safe. He was free.

Hinata stood and grabbed his last cigarette and his lighter, heading for the parking lot. He went behind the building and lit his cigarette, taking a deep breath and feeling the smoke burn its way into his lungs. He heard a noise- a tiny, little meow. He looked towards the dumpsters to see a cat walking out from between them. Hinata crouched down and held his hand out, the cat coming to sniff it. Soon, the cat was purring and Hinata was smiling as he ran his fingers through the cat's long black coat.

Then he saw the cat's eyes. They were blue. Ocean blue. He was taken back to the first day he met Kageyama. Those blue eyes of his were the first thing he noticed. He liked what he saw in those eyes.

Hinata felt warm inside again. He felt a twinge of happiness after that horrible dream and it was all because of a cat with blue eyes.


	15. And She Don't Wanna Go Outside, Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to finish this story lol

Once again, Hinata was so terribly exhausted. He'd been getting a lot of jobs lately, which was good, money-wise. But it was physically and emotionally draining for him and took away from the time he got to sleep.

"Hinata!"

His head shot up from the table he'd been sleeping on. He looked around and saw the cafe assistant manager staring down at him.

"You'd better get your lazy ass up or you're fired. You can't keep falling asleep on the job like this."

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I'm so sorry, please don't fire me, I need this job."

"Then start acting like it," the man said.

Hinata knew that his real boss wouldn't let him go, but he was still afraid of what the assistant manager could do. He was a total jackass and everyone knew it. God knows how he even got this job.

The redhead quickly went back to work. He lazily took orders and handed out coffee and tea alike for hours before it was finally time for him to start heading towards The Crow. He did so slowly, dragging his feet with every step. Bokuto greeted him when he walked in.

"Heya, Sunshine," he said.

Hinata gave a tired hello in response as he slowly headed up the stairs towards the break room. He sat his stuff down but didn't dare sit on the couch- he'd surely fall asleep. He instead put on his eyeliner for his performance later tonight. Ugh. His wing was all messed up. Today was going to be a long day.

"Sunshine." Daichi's voice came from the door. Hinata looked up at him. "Are you okay?"

Hinata smiled weakly, holding up an "ok"  
sign. "Perfect."

"Are you sure? You look-"

"Exhausted," the ginger finished for him. "I know. I just barely have any time to sleep, that's all."

"Just rest," Daichi said. "You've got a while until your first show. You'll probably keel over onstage if you keep going like this."

"Will you cut my pay?"

"No," Daichi replied. "As long as you dance your ass off later."

Hinata smiled again, flopping down on the couch. "Thank you. So much."

He closed his eyes and let sleep take him over.

Kageyama, meanwhile, was back at the convenience store. The day was creeping by ever so slowly and there were very few customers. He could practically fall asleep standing up at this point.

The bell rang and there was finally a customer. Well, two. They walked in with lazy smiles on their faces, talking about some person who they were both majorly objectifying.

"I think I'm gonna buy him tonight," said the first man. "Wanna come with?"

"Nah, man," said the second man. "He's probably got diseases. And plus, I don't have that kinda money. I hear he's expensive."

"Suit yourself," the first man replied, putting some condoms on the counter for Kageyama to scan. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Will this be all?"

"Yeah," the second man said.

The two men walked out and in the direction of The Crow. It finally dawned on Kageyama who they could be talking about.

When Hinata woke, he didn't feel any less tired. In fact, he felt even more exhausted, but nonetheless got up and began getting ready for his first performance. He fixed his messed up wing and brushed his hair back into place. Fifteen minutes later, he was perfectly ready for his performance- Hinata had mastered the art of getting ready quickly.

He got onto the stage after a pat on the back from Daichi and danced. When that was over, he did dishes. Then danced. Dishes. Danced. More dishes and finally, he was at his last dance. The quality of his performance was extremely poor, but he was finally done with the day and could go home.

"Hey, Sunshine," someone called as he was walking out the door with his things.

Hinata turned around to find a man standing behind him with a sly smile. His stomach dropped when he saw the condom in the man's hand.

"You wanna come with me tonight?"

The ginger weighed his options. A condom meant a fuck, and that would get him at least another hundred and seventy five dollars. That was good money.

Hinata sighed. "Sure."

The man put an arm around him and they started walking. "You don't seem all that excited. Come on, I'll take real good care of you."

The redhead plastered on a small smile. "As long as you pay, we're good."

They got to the man's apartment and Hinata let himself be led to the bedroom, thrown on the bed, and stripped. The man roughly grabbed his hips and pummeled into him. Hinata groaned.

"You can be louder than that," the man said, bringing a fist down on Hinata's back.

The ginger yelped and the man laughed.

It was a long night.


	16. And In A Pipe She Flies To The Motherland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kag gets to perform and our smol birb has another job. 
> 
> feat. yams with his self doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who the customer is

Today was a very, very important day.

Not only was it Kageyama's birthday, but it was also the day that the Black Birds would be performing at The Crow. They'd been working their tails off for the past few days and now their time had finally come.

Kageyama was thrilled. He wasn't very good at showing it properly, but he was beyond excited. He brought his electric, his acoustic, and his violin. He wanted to show everyone just what he could do.

He arrived at The Crow early that day, since he had the day off work. Hinata was immediately by his side.

"I'm so excited to hear you guys," he said.

"So am I," Kageyama replied.

Hinata smiled and God it was so adorable and hot at the same time. Kageyama couldn't help staring at him longer than necessary.

Hinata, meanwhile, was melting under his gaze. The guitarist's eyes were so beautiful and fierce, the redhead could stare at them all day. Looking into them was like watching the ocean.

"I've got some work to do," Hinata began. "But I'll be back later to help set up."

Kageyama nodded and watched Hinata run off to the kitchen. The musical prodigy ran back outside to finish carrying his things in while Daichi, Kuroo, and Bokuto cleared off the stage. Before long, the others had shown up and everyone was getting situated on stage.

"You guys ready?" Yamaguchi asked. "Because I'm definitely not!"

Tsukishima smacked his arm. "You'll do fine," he said.

"Okay so we'll start with your electric, Kageyama," Yachi said. "Then we'll go onto your acoustic for a couple songs."

"Then we'll come back electric, then move to violin," Yamaguchi said. "Sound good?"

"Sure," Kageyama replied.

Before he knew it, it was time for their first performance. Kageyama was shaking. He wasn't sure he was quite ready.

"You'll do great," Hinata encouraged. "Go get 'em."

And Kageyama did. He and the Black Birds played their butts off and, though it was only their first performance of the night, they were exhausted.

"You're amazing!" Hinata's voice came.

Kageyama smiled. "Thanks."

Hinata walked off and Kageyama got back onstage. The redhead stood and watched until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked behind him and a pair of coffee colored eyes stared into his own golden ones.

"You selling tonight," asked the man with the chocolate brown hair.

"Can we wait," Hinata said. "I'd really like to see-"

"No," the man said. "Let's go. Now."

The man grabbed Hinata by his bicep and dragged him outside.

"Where'd Hinata go," Daichi asked.

"Probably has another job," Bokuto replied. "But it's weird for him to leave early."

Daichi shrugged. "I'll ask him about it tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might make you wait till monday on this one  
> just because i have a five hour car ride and i know i'll be bored


	17. Or Sells Love To Another Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for non consensual drug use and sort of explicit rape

"Wait," Hinata demanded. "I'm not off work yet and I need to grab my things."

"You are working," the man said. "For me, though. Tonight."

Hinata sighed in submission and let the man drag him to a hotel down the street from the cafe he worked at. The redhead let himself be led down several halls and into a room. What he saw wasn't pleasing.

They opened the door and there were at least five other men inside- maybe six. The man behind Hinata pushed him and he stumbled into the room.

"I-I can't do this with all of you at once," he said. "My rule is that I can't be outnumbered. A-And you'd all have to pay, anyway."

"Who said anything about us paying," one of the men said.

Hinata was grabbed by several hands and then thrown onto the bed. He rolled onto his back and began to yell, but a cloth was pressed against his mouth and nose. He tried not to breathe in, but it was too late. His vision warbled and his consciousness wavered, but he didn't pass out completely. Hinata was still conscious when he was stripped completely and one of them shoved their dick in his mouth, another up his ass. Another man was kissing his chest, sucking on his nipples. The redhead couldn't help the small noises that came out of him.

He lost track of time as he was passed around from man to man and back again. At one point there were two dicks up his ass at once, and Hinata could feel the blood dripping down his legs. After literal hours of abuse, the men gathered their things and left. They just left Hinata by himself, naked and broken. The man that brought him there in the first place placed a piece of paper in his hand.

"Give this to Tobio," he said.

There were silent tears streaming down Hinata's face as he shakily sat up. He slowly put his clothes on and left the room, limping down the hallway and outside, sitting down by the front entrance. He found his phone in his pocket and pressed Kageyama's contact. It rang and rang and finally the boy answered.

"Kageya-"

"Where the hell are you?!" Kageyama yelled. "You just disappeared in the middle of us performing!"

Hinata let out a sob. "I didn't want to," he blubbered. "I'm sorry, I'm sor-ry!"

"Hinata?" Kageyama's voice was filled with worry.

"Please come and get me," Hinata cried.

"Wh-Where are you?"

"Meet me at the cafe," the ginger said, barely getting a handle on his tears.

Before Kageyama could answer, Hinata hung up the phone and slowly stood up. He sluggishly made his way towards the cafe, entering and sitting down at a table by the door. Why was this place still open so late? Oh. It was five in the morning.

Kageyama's car pulled up outside and the guitarist was walking towards the door faster than Hinata could stand up.

"Hinata," he said, throwing his arms around the redhead, who cried into his shirt. "Come on."

Kageyama helped him into the car and began driving to his apartment.

"What happened?"

"There were too many of them," Hinata cried. "And none of them paid. They made me do it, I didn't want to."

"You're not making sense," Kageyama said. "Who were they?"

"I don't know," Hinata slurred. "I-I think they drugged me."

"Okay," Kageyama said, feeling his stomach flip. "Let's... Let's just get to my house and take care of you, okay?"

Hinata nodded and new tears flowed down his face and onto his lap. When they pulled into the parking lot of Kageyama's apartment building, said musician helped the redhead out of the car and put his arm around him as they walked up the stairs. They had to walk slow because Hinata was swaying and stumbling. They made it through the door and Suga was sitting on the couch, biting his nails.

"Are you okay?" His voice was frantic. "What happened?"

Hinata just started crying again and rubbed his eyes with his palms. Kageyama shook his head and led Hinata over to the couch.

"Do you need anything," Kageyama asked. "Water?"

Hinata nodded and Suga went to get it.

"So," Kageyama began. "Run me through what happened."

"While you were performing," Hinata began. "Th-This guy, he asked if I was selling and I said yes but-but I told him to wait- I did- but he wouldn't. And he... He brought me to this hotel room and there were like six other guys there. I tried to leave, but they wouldn't let me, and then they put this rag on my face and..."

He was reduced to sobs and Kageyama nodded, hugging him close.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Is there anything that might help us find out who it was?"

"Oh," Hinata said with a sniffle. "The guy handed me this and... He told me to give it to you."

Hinata pulled the crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Kageyama. The guitarist slowly opened it and his heart stopped.

**"Happy Birthday, Tobio.**

**-O"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last two chapters will probably be posted tomorrow. thanks for sticking around and reading, folks.


	18. It's Too Cold Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for mentions of rape, forced prostitution, child abuse and neglect, and domestic violence. stay safe my peeps.

"Sleep well," Kageyama said, closing his bedroom door when he heard a small voice.

"Wait," Hinata called. "Can you stay?"

They got the redhead cleaned up and calmed down enough to go to sleep. Kageyama felt a lump in his throat as he walked back over to the bed.

"Sure," he said, sitting down next to where Hinata was lying.

The ginger snuggled up against his thigh.

"Do you want to hear about my past?"

Kageyama gasped. "If... If you want to share, then yes."

\--

Hinata was a happy kid. He loved to play volleyball and, although he wasn't the best at it, he truly had a passion for the sport. His parents were loving and caring. His mother was a nurse and his father was an engineer. His mother got pregnant when Hinata was eleven. It was going to be a girl. Life was great.

But when he was twelve, his little sister was born with defects. Her heart wasn't working properly and she was underdeveloped. There were hospital bills to pay. His parents weren't making enough money. They had to improvise.

The first time it happened, Hinata didn't know what was going on. His father took him down to the basement and chained him to a bed before letting in his friends to partake of him. They raped him repeatedly. Five nights per week, he endured this torture and his parents took money for it. His parents were selling their twelve-year-old son's body for money.

Hinata's grades dropped. His physical and emotional state worsened. But no one noticed. He didn't have any friends to speak of and his teachers overlooked him, thinking that he was just a slacking student with behavioral problems. Yes, he acted out at school. He tried to get detentions so he would spend less time at home.

Things only worsened when Hinata's sister ended up passing away. His father became abusive. His mother got into drugs. You'd think they'd deal with the loss of one child by cherishing the other, right? Wrong. They resented the fact that their son was perfectly healthy and their daughter wasn't.

Six years. Hinata was used for sex almost every day of his life for six years. He graduated after he turned eighteen and he packed a bag and left. He was homeless. Daichi found him one day and gave him a job and introduced him to Kenma who gave him a place to stay. And the rest is history.

\--

Kageyama was silent the whole time Hinata told his tale. The redhead didn't even try to make eye contact.

"I'm sorry," Kageyama said when he found his voice. "I'm... I'm so sorry."

"Who was the guy that picked me up," Hinata asked. "And how does he know you?"

Kageyama felt his stomach plummet. This was all his fault, after all. Hinata deserved to know what his connection to Oikawa was.

\--

Kageyama has Asperger's Syndrome. It caused him to have poor communication and social skills and also presented a learning disability. It wasn't too crippling, but it was enough to cause his parents great disappointment. They didn't seem to like him much. They never said they were proud of him or showed him much affection. What little affection they did show him was forced.

He wouldn't consider it abuse. They weren't verbally or physically abusive, just neglecting. They didn't even know when he found a boyfriend. When Kageyama stopped coming home after school and spent every waking moment with him, his parents didn't even ask where he was.

And they didn't notice when his boyfriend became abusive. Kageyama sported a new bruise every day. But he didn't have many friends- the only friend he had was Yachi and she was the only person who noticed anything was even wrong. She tried to get him to break up with Oikawa. But Kageyama refused.

When he did break up with him, it was because the abuse was escalating. Oikawa wanted to have sex. Kageyama didn't. He had the musician pinned down and kissed him roughly. But luckily Kageyama was physically fit and was able to push the boy off and get away.

The guitarist was suicidal. He wanted to kill himself. He'd rather die than have to be with Oikawa for a second longer. It was Yachi that pulled him out of that and got him to break up with the older boy.

Kageyama called him that night and broke up with him. Oikawa cried. He tried to guilt Kageyama into coming back. He said he'd kill himself. But Kageyama held strong. He broke up with him and the next day moved to college. It was about a month later that he met Hinata.

\--

"This is all my fault," Kageyama said. "I'm sorry. He's after me, not you."

"You can't control him," Hinata said. "I'm fine, I promise. I can't say this hasn't happened before."

Kageyama felt fresh tears come to his eyes. It wasn't fair. Why did this have to happen?

"Tobio," Hinata slurred. "Will you stay with me?"

Kageyama lied down next to Hinata, holding him close.

"Of course."


	19. For Angels To Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOYOYO MY PEEPS  
> and this is the conclusion of our story. i'm so glad you all stuck around with me until the end. i'm very thankful for each and every one of you because the wonderful comments are what keeps me going.   
> a big thanks to @kryste_harte for leaving comments on literally EVERY CHAPTER. if it wasn't for you, i might have given up on this story.   
> on a different note, i haven't even began writing the next chapter of my story Stronger yet. but, fear not, i'll do my best to get it up next week.

"Where's Hinata?" Kenma's voice came through the phone.

"I have no idea," Kuroo said. "He left last night without telling anyone and all his stuff is still here. Did he not make it home last night?"

"No," Kenma replied. "I'm worried. What if he had a job and it went wrong? What if he got arrested, or..."

"I know," Kuroo said. "I'll call some people and tell you what I find out."

Suga picked up his ringing phone. It was Daichi.

"Hel-"

"Do you know where Hinata is?" Daichi's panicked voice came. "Kuroo said Kenma called and said that he never made it home last night."

Suga sighed sadly. "He's here. It was... A rough night."

"What happened?"

"He was attacked. By several people. They drugged him and none of them paid."

Daichi gasped. "Is... Is he okay?"

"Shaken up," Suga said. "But he'll make it. They kept him until five this morning. Then he called Kageyama to pick him up."

"Do you know who it was?"

Suga hesitated. "Oikawa and some of his friends." Daichi went silent. "Hello?"

"I swear I'm gonna kill him," Daichi said. "I'm gonna ruin him."

"Can I help?" Suga asked.

Daichi chuckled. "Of course."

Kageyama woke with his arms wrapped around a tiny redhead. Hinata had his hand clenched on Kageyama's shirt and his face buried in his chest. He was snoring softly and breathing deeply. It was nice to see the ginger at peace. Especially after how ruined he was earlier that morning.

The redhead's makeup was all over his face, his eyeliner and mascara in tear tracks on his cheeks. His eyes were swollen and his cheeks were flushed. Kageyama hugged him closer and Hinata's eyes opened. His bright gold eyes scanned the room and landed on Kageyama's own blue ones.

"Good morning," Kageyama said.

Hinata hummed in response and tightened his grip on the musician's shirt, snuggling even closer.

"How are you feeling," Kageyama asked.

"Hurts," Hinata said tiredly. "I have a headache."

"I'll go get you something."

"No," Hinata whined when Kageyama tried to get up. "Stay."

"We need to get up eventually," Kageyama said. "Come on, I think Suga made some breakfast."

Hinata groaned as he got up with Kageyama, who led him to the kitchen. Sure enough, Suga was standing in the kitchen making eggs and bacon.

"Good morning, boys," Suga said. "You're just in time."

Hinata sat down while Kageyama got him some ibuprofen and Suga served the breakfast. The redhead scarfed down the food. And for a moment it seemed like he was okay. Like he hadn't gotten raped by several men the night before.

"Can I use your shower," Hinata asked.

Kageyama nodded and showed him the bathroom. Hinata went in and stripped his clothes off. He took a look at his numerous bruises and the blood that was dried on the back of his thighs. He turned on the shower, setting it to its hottest setting and beginning to scrub himself down. As the blood went down the drain, he realized just how disgusting he felt.

Taking a deep breath, the redhead stepped out of the shower and reclothed himself. He walked out to the living room and Suga beckoned him to sit on the couch.

"Do you want to try and press char-"

"No," Hinata said. "That's impossible. I'm a prostitute. I'll just end up getting arrested and no one will believe what happened."

Suga sighed. "Okay. I figured that would be the case."

"What are we going to do about Oikawa then," Kageyama asked.

"I've already been looking into that," Suga said. "And it's weird. I did some digging and no one's seen him since last night. Apparently, he was staying in a hotel and he checked out late last night. I guess he's gone."

Kageyama sighed. Finally. Finally that man was gone.

"I should get to work," Hinata said.

"You deserve a day off," Kageyama said. "Especially after last night."

"No," the ginger insisted. "I need to keep busy. I need to do something."

And so, they took off and went towards The Crow. Kageyama called in to work and said he'd be out, that he definitely wasn't expecting pay and he'd work extra hours this weekend to make up for it. His boss told him to go ahead, that it was okay as long as he made the work up. Man, he has the best boss ever.

The three of them walked into The Crow and Daichi was immediately on them. He put his hands on Hinata's shoulders.

"Are you okay?" His voice was full of worry.

Hinata nodded. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Daichi nodded skeptically. "You don't have to be here, you know. We have Akaashi, too, and he can perform."

"I know," Hinata said. "But I need to be out and stay productive."

"Alright," he said. "You're in the kitchen, then. I'm not having you perform today. Or you could work on choreography."

"I'll be working on a new dance," he said. "Why don't you come with me, Kageyama?"

"S-Sure."

They walked up the narrow staircase and went into the dance studio. As soon as Kageyama was through the door, Hinata had him up against the wall and was pulling him down by his collar for a kiss. It wasn't rough. It was soft and affectionate.

"What was that for," Kageyama said when they pulled away.

"I didn't give you a birthday kiss yesterday," Hinata replied. "Oh! That reminds me! Wait here!"

He ran to the break room and rummaged around before coming back, holding something behind his back.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands," he said.

Kageyama did so and he soon felt something cold and hard hit his hands. It wasn't too heavy, but he wondered what it was.

"Open them."

The musician looked down and saw a black ukulele in his hands. He gasped. Another instrument for him to learn.

"It's not very high quality," Hinata said. "But I figured you might want to try something new. I have the case and a tuner in the other room."

"Oh, Hinata, I... You... You shouldn't have," Kageyama spluttered.

"It's nothing."

"But you're already so tight on money," Kageyama said. "You shouldn't have spent so much on me."

"I told you," Hinata began. "It's nothing."

Kageyama wrapped his arms around the redhead.

"I love you," he said. "I love you, Hinata Shouyou."

Hinata looked up at him with a small smile on his face. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all!


	20. Ripped Gloves, Raincoat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS HERE PEOPLE!!! i know i said it would come in 2018 but i have so many chapters written up already and they’re crowding up my phone so here it is! i hope you enjoy!

It was in early January that Hinata got a phone call from a number that he hadn’t heard from in years. His stomach dropped as soon as he saw it and he got up from where he sat on the couch next to Kageyama, Suga, Daichi, and Kenma, watching movies. He walked into the kitchen before answering.

“Hello?”

“Shouyou?”

The voice was gruff, but recognizable.

“Uncle?”

“So it _is_ you,” the man said. “You did a good job trying to hide from all of us, I’ll give you that. It took me a few days to find you.”

“What do you want?”

“Your parents are dead.”

It was like a kick to the chest. The air was knocked out of him and he felt like he was dreaming. Was he dreaming? No. Because when his chest started to hurt from the lack of air, he knew that this was real life.

“Car accident. Your dad was drunk.”

“Oh,” he said. “O-Okay.”

“That’s it?” Hinata’s uncle scoffed. “I figured. Funeral’s tomorrow at ten at the funeral home in town. Come or don’t come, I don’t really care.”

The man hung up and Hinata listened to the dial tone before he hung up, himself. Just then, Kageyama walked in. Hinata looked up at him.

“My... My parents, they...”

Hinata didn’t know how to feel. They prostituted him off when he was just a kid. He hated them, but he hated that he hated them. He’d always wanted to have a normal relationship with his parents, but that would never happen now. He covered his face and broke out into quiet sobs, but he didn’t know why he was so damn emotional about this. He had no reason to miss them, and he didn’t, but...

“Why am I crying,” he asked. “Why am I so upset? They were _awful_ , I just...”

“They were still your parents,” Kageyama said, wrapping his arms around Hinata and resting his chin on his head. “I think you’re just wishing you had something better with them.”

Hinata continued to cry as Kageyama held him and, eventually, Kenma and the others came in. Some movie night, this was.

The night ended with them sitting down to finish the movie before the three that didn’t live there went home. Hinata and Kageyama shared a long, warm kiss before Hinata spoke.

“Will you go with me to the funeral tomorrow?”

Kageyama seemed shocked for a minute before he answered. “Of course. I’ll pick you up at nine-thirty.”

He left and Hinata locked the door behind him.

“Are you okay,” Kenma asked.

The redhead stared at him for a second. “I don’t know yet.”

He went into his bedroom and got ready to sleep, picking up his phone and peeking his eyes out from under the blankets to look at the screen.

Hinata didn’t sleep much that night. He messaged his boss at the cafe and informed him of what went on and why he’d be absent from work the following day. Daichi already knew and told him to take as much time as he needed- though he wouldn’t be taking much because with this going on, Hinata needed to keep busy.

Kageyama picked him up when he said he would. Hinata didn’t wear the nicest clothes he owned- he knew his parents didn’t deserve that much. He wore something more casual, and was pleased to see that Kageyama had done the same. He silently got into the car and they drove to Miyagi.

As they drove into town, Hinata felt a sense of nostalgia because there was his old high school, there was the park his mother would take him to when he was very young, there was where his dad taught him to ride a bike, and there was the house of the old woman who told him he was too skinny when he was fifteen and gave him lunch when he walked to school every day. There was the bench he’d sit on for hours on the late nights that he’d run away after he’d been taken advantage of, there was the parking lot where he got into his first fight, _and oh, God, there was that house, that godforsaken house, where he was raped night after night after-_

The car stopped in front of the funeral home. The one where Hinata’s sister’s funeral was held all those years ago.

“Are you ready?” Kageyama was looking at him with worry. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Hinata unbuckled his seatbelt. “I know.”

They straightened their shirts and shut the car doors, locking them and turning to the building. There were stairs leading up to the entrance and there was a surprising amount of people there. The two approached the building and Hinata tried to ignore the stares of those around him because dammit, he looked too much like his parents. He looked too much like the boy that he used to be.

They walked into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter should be up soon. happy holidays!


	21. Tried To Swim To Stay Afloat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next addition :)

As soon as Hinata walked into the building, the air was knocked from his lungs. Everywhere he looked, he saw his parents friends.

The ones he’d been sold to.

Hinata stopped in his tracks and Kageyama bumped into him from behind, making him jump.

“Are you alright,” Kageyama asked.

Hinata turned to face him and opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t seem to form any words. Kageyama put his hands on the shorter’s shoulders and steered him to an empty corner of the room.

“Breathe,” Kageyama said. “We can leave if you want to.”

After taking a few breaths, Hinata replied. “No. I need to stay.”

They walked to the front of the room where the coffins were and Hinata hesitated as he walked up to the bodies of his dead parents. They’d aged drastically within the past year or so. Maybe it was the alcohol and the heroin. They also looked thinner- probably because they didn’t have as much money for food since Hinata moved out. They spent most of their money on drugs, anyway.

The service started. As they walked toward their seats, the redhead could feel the stares on him. Hinata didn’t sit in the front row with the rest of his relatives, instead sitting near the very back with Kageyama.

“We’re here today to honor the lives of Hinata Yui and Hinata Akihiko, who’s lives were tragically lost recently,” the preacher began. “They went through trial after trial throughout their lives, both coming from nothing and working their hardest to make themselves something. Once married, they had a daughter, Hinata Natsu, whom they lost after a very short time.”

Hinata’s eyes widened and he was vaguely aware of Kageyama staring at him. Did they really...?

“They have no living children, but their memory will carry on in all of us.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Hinata whispered.

They’d forgotten about him. Or maybe they hadn’t. Maybe they had disowned him or something. Whatever the reason may be, he didn’t spend eighteen years in that awful house to be completely forgotten about and discarded.

“I’ll be right back,” Hinata said, standing up and heading toward the bathroom.

Shaking with each step, the redhead dashed into the bathroom and leaned against the countertop of the sink. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, so no one saw the tears falling from his eyes and into the sink.

Suddenly, the bathroom door slammed open. Hinata whirled around to see a familiar face. His stomach, once again, dropped.

“Hello, uncle.”

“I thought I saw you walk in here,” he said, striding over to the redhead and swinging an arm around him. Hinata stiffened. “How are you, Shouyou?”

“I-I, uh, fine.”

“So you’re, what, nineteen now?”

Hinata nodded and the man chuckled slightly, patting him on the back before he swung around and grabbed him by both biceps, pinning him to the door.

His uncle leaned in close. “You want to go to college, yes?” Hinata hesitated before nodding. “What would you say if I told you I could pay for it?”

Hinata stared. “What?”

“All you have to do is... Well, exactly what you’ve been doing for years.”

Hinata knew what he meant. “I-I don’t know, I-“

“This isn’t a negotiation,” his uncle said. “You work for me, and I’ll pay for your college. Think about it, kid, your future is at stake here.”

Gulping, Hinata replied. “When do I start?”

Hinata had been gone a while and Kageyama was starting to worry. He was just about to head to the bathroom, himself, when Hinata walked back into the room, face blank but eyes red. He sat down and Kageyama put his hand on his boyfriend’s knee comfortingly. Hinata grabbed his hand and held onto it.

“They handled the loss of their daughter so well,” they heard. _Lies_.

“They would’ve been such good parents.” _Lies_.

“They were so kind, even though they were struggling.” _Lies_.

They weren’t good parents, Kageyama knew. He thought he had it rough with his distant parents, but he still couldn’t even begin to understand what Hinata was going through.

When the preacher was done talking, they got ready to leave. They walked into the lobby of the funeral home and Hinata was basically glued to Kageyama’s side the whole time. The guitarist kept his arm firmly around the dancer as they made their way through the crowd, Hinata shaking under the stares of everyone around them.

All at once, Hinata yelped loudly, jumping and twisting around. Kageyama turned with him to see a rather large man standing behind them.

“I’d recognize the feel of that ass anywhere,” the man said. “You’re that kid! The one they let us-“

“We were just leaving,” Kageyama stated. He turned to Hinata. “Let’s go.”

“So you get him all to yourself, huh?” Several people were watching the exchange now. “How much are you paying?”

“Don’t say anything,” Kageyama whispered to Hinata. “Just keep walking.”

“That whore isn’t worth much,” someone yelled. “Don’t let him trick you into paying more than you should!”

Kageyama rushed Hinata out of the building, arm firmly around him the whole time. He helped the shaking boy into the car and got in, himself.

“Are you-“ Kageyama began before Hinata cut him off.

“I just want to go home.”

They didn’t go to the burial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are starting to get good!! i have this whole arc written already and i already have the third and final arc planned out. i’ll post again on saturday!


	22. Dry House, Wet Clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is super short but here you go!

They got back to Hinata’s apartment around noon. He still could have made it to the cafe to work, but honestly the morning was so emotionally grueling that he decided not to. Kageyama had class, so he left the redhead alone. Hinata climbed into bed without changing his clothes. It was then that he got out his phone and called the number his uncle had used to call him the day before. It rang several times before it was answered.

“So, you were serious about this,” his uncle said. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Every night you’ll come to my place. I’ll send you the address later. When you get there, I’ll have clients waiting for you. They pay for a specific amount of time and during that time, they can do whatever they want with you. I get some of the money, and some is set aside for you to go to college soon.”

“How soon will that be?”

“Sooner than it would be if you were on your own.”

Hinata sighed. “When do I start?”

“Tonight.”

His uncle hung up and Hinata did so, himself. He rolled over so his back was facing the door and closed his eyes. It wasn’t even one yet and he was already exhausted. Hinata lay there in bed for a while before he got up and hopped into the shower. The water saturated his hair and fell down his face and body, at a temperature so hot that it turned his porcelain skin red.

Somehow, he felt a spark of hope. In a situation that seemed so hopeless, Hinata was just excited that he’d be able to go to college sooner rather than later. Then he could get his degree and get a better job and he’d never have to do this again. One day...

The dancer got ready for work at The Crow. He changed into his work shirt and his jeans and grabbed his duffel bag before leaving his apartment, walking towards the bar. He went through his daily duties- dishes, helping with the kitchen, more dishes, and finally, his favorite part, dancing. He’d made up new choreography lately and was excited to be able to show it to everyone there.

When his time to dance came, Hinata was dressed in black and white shorts that practically fit him like underwear and his white crop top. He strutted onto the stage, mask in place, and did his thing. He danced and danced until the last beat of the music and he smiled and walked off the stage, satisfied with how he’d done.

“When did you have time to make that up,” Kuroo asked.

“You know me,” Hinata replied. “I’ll always find a way to make it happen.”

The day dragged on and Hinata was exhausted- more so than before. When the day finally ended, he made his way to the address his uncle had sent him that morning. As Hinata walked through the dark city, he shivered at the thought of what could be in store for him.

The building Hinata came to was a cramped, two story house that sat squished in between two other houses. He knocked on the door and immediately a dog began howling, making the redhead jump back slightly. He heard claws scratching at the door before hearing his uncle yelling at the dog. When the dog retreated, the man opened the door. As soon as the door swung open, Hinata was hit by the stench of cigarettes and alcohol.

“Jesus, Shouyou, it’s about time,” he said. “Get in here.”

He was grabbed by the arm and led down a small hallway and into the kitchen, where several men sat around the table.

“Who wants first dibs?”

Each of the men stood up, but there was one in particular that made it to Hinata first, placing a hand in the small of his back. He turned to Hinata’s uncle and handed him a rather large wad of cash. The man counted the money before speaking.

“You get three hours to do whatever you want,” he said. “So long as you don’t kill him.”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “Three hours?”

The man that was holding him just gave him a slight push towards the staircase. They ascended the stairs and went into the bedroom that was first on their left. The place was dusty and smelly, but Hinata barely had time to comprehend what the smell was before he was shoved on the bed and a tongue was shoved down his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter should be up like wednesday or something.


	23. Loose Change, Bank Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i just need to crank out these chapters because they’re taking up so much space lol

By the time Hinata got home, it was four in the morning. He had work in three hours. The man who held him last night- well, more like earlier that morning- wasn’t kind. He was rough but he knew what he was doing. Clients like that were always the worst.

When he got to the apartment, Kenma was, once again, sleeping on the couch. Hinata totally forgot that the other boy usually tried to stay awake until Hinata got home each night. He’d probably fallen asleep while waiting. Hinata didn’t want to risk waking him up, so he tip toed his way to his bedroom as quickly and quietly as possible. As Hinata walked into his room, he slipped off his clothes and climbed into bed. He could probably get an hour- maybe two- of sleep in before he’d have to start getting ready for work. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When Hinata woke next, it was to the buzzing of his obnoxiously loud alarm clock. It was six in the morning. Hinata turned off his alarm and stood, making his way to the shower. He felt disgusting after last night- though, sadly, it was a familiar feeling. He scrubbed and scrubbed until he felt he was at least a bit cleaner and got out, throwing his clothes on to work at the cafe.

As soon as Hinata got there, he was cornered by the manager.

“Are you alright,” he asked. “I’m sorry about the loss of your parents, if you need anything, please let me know.”

The man patted him on the shoulder and Hinata nodded with a smile before getting to work. The loss of his parents was nothing for anyone to be sorry for. Hinata was surprised they hadn’t died sooner- in fact, he wished they had. Maybe then he wouldn’t be in the mess he was in now.

Hinata situated himself behind the counter, taking orders and making them for several hours before he saw Kageyama.

He smiled. “Hey!”

Kageyama approached the counter. “Could I get a-“

“Coffee,” Hinata said. “Black. Coming right up.”

He turned and made the drink before handing it to his boyfriend who frowned.

“Are you okay?” Kageyama asked. “You seem... off.”

Hinata widened his smile. “I’m fine!”

With a dubious look, Kageyama said goodbye and left, saying that he didn’t have time to stay because of band practice. Hinata let him go.

—

Kageyama knew something was off. There was something the redhead wasn’t telling him and the musician intended to find out what it was.

It was either that, or Kageyama was overreacting entirely. He wasn’t the best at reading people and besides, Hinata’s parents just died. He could just be grieving over the loss of a relationship he never had to begin with.

As much as the guitarist cared for his boyfriend, he needed to focus. The Black Birds has a meeting with a record label that week and they absolutely had to do great. There was no room in Kageyama’s head for distractions.

He rushed to practice with each of his instruments in his trunk, Yamaguchi helping him unload them when he got to the warehouse. The manager of the record label was present at their performance at The Crow a few weeks back and immediately contacted them. This could be their big chance at stardom.

They began to play, but Kageyama messed up. He apologized and they started over, but he messed up again. And again. And again.

“What the hell is wrong with you today,” Tsukishima spat.

“Nothing,” Kageyama said. In reality, he he was just worried about Hinata. “I don’t know, maybe I’m just having a bad day.”

“You better get over this by Friday,” Tsukki retorted.

It was a long day.


	24. Weary Eyed, Dry Throat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! how are you!!! i’m going to be 16 in less than three weeks how awesome is that!!! ahh!!!!

Another day, another client. Hinata was getting tired of this. Hell, he was just tired in general. For the past few nights Hinata had averaged only four hours of sleep each night. He was like the walking dead, going about his day in a zombie like state. Something had to give. He couldn’t go on like this for an indefinite amount of time.

—

Kageyama hit the wrong note. Again.

“Sorry, guys,” he said.

“Don’t mind,” Yachi replied. “We’ll just start over. I think we’re all just nervous.”

They began the song again. Halfway through and Kageyama still hadn’t messed up. Wait- spoke too soon, he fumbled the strings again.

Once again, they started over. So far, so good. Until Kageyama messed up again.

“Come on,” Tsukki said. “Get it together. I don’t know if you’re just lazy of if you’re stupid.”

“Calm down,” Kageyama replied, putting his instrument down. “What’s your problem?”

“You can’t just expect your stupid autism to be an excuse for you fucking this up,” Tsukishima yelled, walking up to him. “I thought you were supposed to be some sort of prodigy or something.”

Kageyama took the first punch. He missed and Tsukki’s fist came and hit him square in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. He grabbed Tsukishima by the shoulders and threw him to the ground, the drummer holding onto the guitarist and taking him down, as well. Kageyama was on top, throwing punch after punch and feeling bones crack under his fist, and then Tsukki was.

Eventually, the blonde was pried off of him by Yamaguchi. Kageyama got up dizzily and began stumbling toward the drummer, who was struggling against Yamaguchi’s grasp. Then, Kageyama felt a hand on his elbow and looked down to see Yachi staring up at him with worry and fear in her eyes.

“Tobio,” she said, voice wavering. “Please stop.”

Kageyama couldn’t continue to fight after seeing her so distraught. He unclenched his fists and sighed, letting the adrenaline die down until he was aware of the pain. He sat on the floor with his hands on his face, vaguely aware that Yamaguchi was walking toward the door, pulling Tsukishima out behind him. Yachi was kneeling down next to him.

“Let me take a look at you,” she said. Kageyama brought his hands down and she winced. “He got you pretty good.”

“I don’t use my autism as an excuse,” he said. “I-I never have... Right?”

“Right,” she replied. “He didn’t mean that, he was just-“

“He did.” Kageyama felt tears stinging his eyes. “He did and he hates me because I’m autistic. He’s just like my parents.”

Yachi wrapped her arms around his shoulders, letting him rest his head against her chest.

“He doesn’t,” she stated. “He doesn’t hate you, none of us do, and your autism just makes you who you are. It’s not a bad thing, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“People use autism as another word for stupid,” Kageyama whispered. “Maybe I am stupid.” He knew he was.

Yachi grabbed his shoulders and forced him to sit up straight, staring into his eyes. Her eyebrows were pinched together and she wore a scowl.

“Don’t you dare say that about yourself,” she reprimanded. “If you say that ever again, I’m going to have to throw some punches this time.”

Kageyama couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Yachi suggested.

Yachi helped Kageyama into a standing position and walked him to his car. She decided she’d drive, so she scooted the drivers seat up as far as it would possibly go to make up for their height difference. She drove them to Kageyama’s apartment and helped the dizzy boy inside. Unbeknownst to Kageyama, Suga was home.

“I didn’t expect you to be back so-“ Suga turned and looked at them and dropped the dish he was washing, running over. “What happened? Are you okay? Is anything broken?”

“I got in a fight with Tsukki,” Kageyama mumbled.

“I’ll clean you up,” Suga said. “You can go, Yachi.”

She nodded and left, Suga taking the guitarist’s hand and dragging him down the hall and to the bathroom. He sat Kageyama down on the toilet and rummaged through the cabinets until he found hydrogen peroxide and band-aids. Kageyama looked at the mirror and saw his bloody, bruised face, and understood why his roommate was so worried. Suga poured some of the substance on a tissue and began wiping at Kageyama’s face.

“You shouldn’t get into fights,” he said. “Even if people insult you.”

“I know.”

“They won’t get you anywhere.”

“I know.”

“I hate seeing you hurt.”

“I know, Suga, I’m fine.”

Suga looked up, his chocolate eyes burning into Kageyama’s blue ones.

“I don’t ever want you fighting again.”

Kageyama could do nothing but nod.


	25. Call Girl, No Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some good times :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! enjoy

It was Wednesday. He’d been working for his uncle for only five days and he was beyond exhausted. Hinata heard that his uncle was charging good money for... well... Hinata’s body. Well, anyway, hopefully Hinata was getting the money he deserved for his troubles.

Today would be a good day, though. Kageyama didn’t have work so he’d be able to hang out at The Crow all afternoon. Hinata was beyond excited to see his boyfriend, since they barely ever got time to spend together.

Hinata went to the cafe that day, almost late because God, was he tired. After getting a lecture from the assistant manager on why he should be at least fifteen minutes early each day, Hinata set to work making coffee and tea for various people. During his break he sipped a tea of his own, until he got back to work.

When the shift was finally over, Hinata gathered his belongings and raced to the bar. He was more than excited to see Kageyama and spend time with him after so long. Hinata went inside and upstairs to the break room, setting his stuff down.

“I’ll be in the studio,” he yelled down to Daichi. “Send Kageyama up when he gets here!”

Hinata shut himself in his dance studio and plugged in the speaker, plugging the aux cord into his phone. He opened his music and chose his warmup playlist, sitting down and beginning to stretch. The music was up so loud that he didn’t know when Kageyama walked in until he turned around and saw a blushing guitarist standing in the doorway.

Kageyama’s red cheeks and wide eyes staring at the dancer’s legs weren’t the first things he noticed. What he saw first was the bruises. All over Kageyama’s neck and face and surely under his clothes, as well.

“Oh my- what the hell happened to you?”

Hinata rushed forward and grabbed both of his arms, pulling him further into the room as he stuttered.

“It’s nothing, really,” Kageyama said. “I promise.”

“Your face is all purple,” Hinata shot back. “Don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing. Who did that to you?”

Kageyama sighed. “I just got into a fight with Tsukishima. It’s not a big-“

Hinata was walking past him, fists clenched. “I ought to give that pompous ass a piece of my-“

“Shouyou,” Kageyama stopped him, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. “There’s no need for that. It’ll just make things worse- and besides, he could kill you if he tried.”

Hinata dragged Kageyama back into the studio, closing the door and shoving him against it.

“You don’t know what I’m capable of, Kageyama.”

Hinata drew out his name like he were tasting each individual syllable.

“Then show me,” Kageyama replied, biting his lip.

He was pulled down by his collar and Hinata’s lips were smashed against his, teeth clacking together. Hinata chewed on his lip and Kageyama shoved his tongue into the smaller boy’s mouth, picking him up by his waist and turning so that Hinata was secured between the wall and Kageyama’s chest. The musician jerked his crotch onto Hinata’s sharply, causing the dancer to gasp. Kageyama then went for his neck, kissing him up to his jaw. They were grinding together and Hinata’s moans were almost as loud as the music he had playing.

“Fuck,” Hinata moaned. “We should do this more often. Take your shirt off.”

Kageyama paused to do so and Hinata wrapped his legs around him so he wouldn’t fall, doing the same. Their hands wandered up and down each other’s bodies, Kageyama grasping Hinata’s ass and pulling him impossibly closer. Their chests were pressed together and Hinata was sucking on Kageyama’s neck as the taller groped him. Soon, Kageyama grabbed him by the chin and their lips crashed together again. This was perfect, this was-

The music stopped and Kageyama turned around, causing Hinata to fall to his feet and do the same. Daichi was standing by the speaker, holding Hinata’s phone and staring at them with eyebrows raised.

“You know,” he said. “You’re supposed to be practicing.”

“I-I was just...” Hinata spluttered.

“It’s okay,” Daichi said. “But you’ve had your fun, get to work.”

He walked out the door and shut it, leaving them alone once again. They looked at each other, Hinata taking in the flushed skin and the messy hair.

“I have new choreography,” he said. “You should watch.”

Kageyama nodded and sat on the opposite side of the room, ready for Hinata to start.

That was, by far, Hinata’s favorite warmup ever.


	26. And They Say She’s In The Class A Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! i’m going to be sixteen in like nine days how are you doing!!!

Kageyama reluctantly got up that morning, getting ready for practice. He had to make things right- they had the meeting with the sponsors tomorrow and they absolutely could not, under any circumstances, mess up. This was their only chance.

So, when Kageyama walked into the warehouse and saw everyone already there, he was glad. He didn’t show it, though, but he was really glad. The guitarist was afraid that Tsukishima would quit or simply not show up, but there the blonde was, standing by his drums, black eye and all. Upon seeing Kageyama, the drummer sauntered up to him with an unhappy expression on his face. Kageyama faltered, taking a step back at first, thinking that Tsukki was planning on punching him. Instead, the drummer stopped in front of him and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking at his shoes. “I said some pretty shitty things and I’ll admit I was being a real dick.”

“And...?” Yamaguchi said.

Tsukki sighed again. “ _And_ this has nothing to do with your autism. That doesn’t make you a bad musician.”

Kageyama was silent for a time and Tsukki then looked up at him, so he spoke.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“I probably deserved it, though,” Tsukki replied.

They were snapped out of it when Yachi clapped her hands together. “Let’s get going, then! We have a lot to cover!”

—

Hinata dragged himself out of bed that morning. He was just so _tired_ , he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to do this every day.

When he arrived at the cafe, it was the same as every day. It got dull after a while. Upon his arrival at The Crow, he washed dishes until his performance- which was rather sloppy. It was so sloppy, in fact, that Daichi approached him.

“You need to get it together,” he said, voice gentle. “Is everything okay? That was-“

“A disaster,” Hinata finished. “I know. It’s just a one time thing, I’ll do better tomorrow.”

Before Daichi could reply, Hinata was heading upstairs to the break room. He sat down for a second, closing his eyes and sighing when he opened them back up again. He got back to work.

When his shift was over, Hinata walked to his uncle’s house, just like always. As he was turning onto the dark, deserted street that the house was on, Hinata heard footsteps behind him. They were rushed. He walked faster but before he knew it, someone had an arm sneaking around his waist.

“You’re pretty,” said a slurred voice in his ear. “I’d love to-“

“You have to pay,” Hinata said, voice wavering. “I don’t do anything for free.”

“Too bad,” said the man behind him.

Hinata tried to break free but he was being restrained. He struggled until he got an arm free, swinging it around and punching the drunk man in the nose. He fell and Hinata took off running towards his uncle’s house. When he got there, he banged on the door until it opened.

“Jesus, Shouyou,” his uncle said. “What’s your deal?”

“There- There was...” He sighed. “Nothing. Sorry.”

Hinata walked into the house and placed his stuff down before turning back to his uncle, expectantly.

“He should be here any minute,” his uncle said.

Soon there was another knock on the door. The man went and answered it and Hinata felt himself blanch when he saw who it was. It was the drunk man from the street, holding his nose.

“What happened to you,” Hinata’s uncle asked.

“Oh, nothing,” the man replied. “I’m just ready to get started.”

Soon enough, Hinata was being dragged up the stairs and into the bedroom. The dancer robotically did what he was told and stripped, getting onto the bed. There were rough hands in his hair and stroking his entire body, preparing him for what came next. At some point the man started fucking him- Hinata wasn’t sure when.

What he did know was that suddenly, a hand was tight around his neck, cutting off his air. Hinata released the sheets he was grasping and wrapped his hands around the man’s wrist, trying to pry his hand away. Just as his vision started to go white, the hand was gone. Hinata coughed and spluttered.

“W-What the-“

“He said I could do whatever I want,” the man said. “As long as I don’t kill you- and look, you’re still alive.”

“You’re insa-“

The hand was grasping his throat once more and he was cut off. This was going to be a long night.


	27. Stuck In Her Daydream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is really short but i’ll probably post another chapter tomorrow ok

It was Friday- finally- the day they met with the record label. Kageyama woke up bright and early and stopped by the cafe before he left. When he walked in, Hinata smiled brightly at him, though he had dark circles under his eyes. Then, Kageyama’s eyes landed on the light bruising around his neck. They looked like fingerprints.

“What happened to your-“

“I had a job.” His voice was slightly hoarse.

Hinata’s eyes drifted to the floor and Kageyama gulped. He hated the mere thought of anyone touching his boyfriend, let alone choking him.

“Are you okay?”

Hinata’s smile grew impossibly wider and he nodded. Kageyama leaned across the counter and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

Hinata went to The Crow that day, dragging his feet. There was a dull, throbbing ache behind his eyes and his muscles burned with sheer exhaustion. When he went through the doors, Kuroo’s eyes were on him.

“You alright?” Kuroo asked. “You look-“

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Hinata said as he was walking away.

He walked into the break room and changed, heading back down and starting on the dishes. He lazily but thoroughly cleaned each dish, placing it on the drying rack.

Soon enough, it was time to get ready for his first performance. He put on his clothes but didn’t trust his tired hand with makeup, so he didn’t wear much. He stepped onto the stairs and, once again, draped himself around the pole before he started to move. His motions were lazy and his face dull, but he just wanted to get this over with. People hardly threw him any money and he worked even harder to ensure that he’d actually make something today.

After his dance, Hinata stepped off the stage. His head pounded and everything was too loud. He wobbled on his feet, and that was when the tunnel vision started. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Whoa,” Noya said, holding him upright. “You okay?”

“I don’t...”

Hinata fell into Noya’s arms, the latter kneeling down and holding him. Just as Hinata lost consciousness, he heard Nishinoya yell.

“Get help!”

—

Kageyama, Yachi, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima all stood outside the recording office. The drummer leaned against the wall, eyes closed and fingers tapping out a beat on his leg. Yachi and Yamaguchi were doing vocal exercises. Kageyama was gulping down water. He was so nervous and his throat just felt so dry, but it seemed there was nothing he could do about it.

Soon, they were called inside and they set up, Kageyama tuning his guitar and Yachi adjusting the microphone. Tsukki gave them the beat and Kageyama got on with the intro, methodically picking the strings of his electric. Their music flowed throughout the room, melodious and synchronized. The song ended with a final bang from Tsukishima.

They were requested to play something else and did so, playing a softer song with Kageyama on the violin. It was about love. The lyrics were never applicable to Kageyama’s life until he met Hinata. The whole world gained color when that happened. He’d never met anyone so small, yet so mighty. So beautiful, yet so inviting. Brown eyes are considered plain, until you fall in love with someone with brown eyes. Then they become everything magnificent in the world.

The last note was hit and there wasn’t anything else requested from them. The Black Birds were free to leave and Yachi would be called with the results at a later date.

The band received no criticism that day. It was all “good job” and “you did great.” The teens went outside and once they got there, they all smiled.

“Yes!” Yachi exclaimed. “That was perfect, guys!”

“You actually didn’t mess up,” Tsukishima said to Kageyama.

“Neither did I,” Yamaguchi said incredulously.

They continued to banter and celebrate what they considered to be a success when they heard a phone ringing. Kageyama grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened it. It was Suga.

“Suga, you won’t believe-“

“You need to meet me at the hospital.”

“What? Why?”

“Hinata just collapsed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	28. Been This Way Since Eighteen, But Lately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i know that IVs are catheters and not really needles so disregard my descriptions because i don’t feel like correcting them all ok ok

Hinata blearily opened his eyes. He was lying on his back, but he was moving. Looking around him, Hinata realized that he was on a gurney.

Shit.

“No,” Hinata mumbled, trying to sit up. “No, I... I don’t have money for this, I’m fi-“

“Sir,” the nurse next to him ha a hand on his chest, lightly pushing him back onto the bed. “We have financial aid available. You need to lie still.”

They started an IV on him and they rode all the way to the hospital, Hinata’s consciousness wavering every second. He got to a room and was left alone for a short while before a doctor came in.

“You’re Hinata Shouyou?” The dancer nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Hinata said. “I swear. I’ve just been a little tired.”

The doctor raised his eyebrows. “A little? Sir, you show signs of extreme exhaustion and malnutrition. The last weight we have on file for you was a few months ago and you’ve lost ten kilograms since then, which is a bit extreme.”

“So what? I lost some weight.”

“You collapsed from the stress you’re putting your body under,” the doctor said. “How many hours of sleep have you been getting each night?”

“Like...” Hinata thought. “F-four or five.”

“If you won’t look out for your health, I’m going to have to admit you for a short while.”

“I can’t stay here,” Hinata insisted.

“I’m writing you a work excuse then,” the doctor said. “There are some people in the waiting room for you and I’ll inform them of how much rest you need. Do you live alone?” He shook his head. “Good. You can be discharged later today.”

The doctor left.

—

Kageyama drove to the hospital as fast as he could. He sped down the street, swerving to miss other cars. He sped into the hospital parking lot and slammed on the breaks, jumping out of the car and running through the emergency doors. He spotted Suga, Daichi, Noya, Bokuto, Kenma, and Kuroo sitting in the waiting room and dashed over to them.

“What’s going on? Is he-“

“Hinata Shouyou?”

The group stood and turned around to see a doctor standing behind them. Upon seeing them, the doctor came forward.

“He’s awake. He seems to be doing well, but he’s... defiant. I’m getting his discharge papers together but he needs a few days of rest- no work, and I don’t recommend leaving him alone for the next twenty four hours.”

“Why did he pass out?” Nishinoya asked.

“Exhaustion,” the doctor replied. “He admitted he’s been barely sleeping lately. That, paired with malnutrition, caused his body to shut down. Something needs to be done about this or it could do more damage to his health.”

“Can we see him?” Kageyama asked frantically.

The doctor nodded. “Right this way.”

They agreed that not everyone should go at once, so they didn’t overwhelm him, and that Kageyama should be the first to go. He and the doctor went through a set of double doors before going down a hallway when the doctor pointed at Hinata’s room.

Kageyama walked through the door with a light knock. His eyes landed on Hinata, lying in the bed with a needle in his arm. He looked terrible and Kageyama wondered how he didn’t realize how sick he’d gotten. His boyfriend was incredibly pale and his eyes were sunken and dark. His face didn’t light up upon seeing Kageyama like it usually did.

“Hey,” Kageyama said, stepping toward the bed. “How are-“

“Don’t give me that,” Hinata said. “Please, just don’t.”

Kageyama’s face fell. “I-I’m sorry.”

“I’m sick of everyone worrying. I’m... I’m sick of all of this!”

The tears fell from Hinata’s face and he broke down completely. Sobs rang throughout the room and Kageyama dashed over to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping an arm around him.

“I’m going to fix everything,” Kageyama said. “I’m going to fix it.”

He held Hinata as he cried, rocking them back and forth slightly. Hinata didn’t say another word, just letting his emotions out until he was too tired to cry anymore. Then he sat up.

“I just need to rest,” Hinata said.

Just then, there was another knock on the door and Daichi walked in.

“Hey, the doctor says you can go as soon as someone takes out your IV.”

Hinata nodded and a nurse came in in no time and took out the needle, allowing him to get up and walk out. He rode home with Kageyama, the musician taking him and Kenma to their apartment and getting out with them. It was starting to get dark.

“Don’t you have work?” Hinata asked.

“I’d rather stay here with you,” Kageyama replied.

Hinata nodded and Kenma unlocked the door, letting them both inside. Hinata went straight to his bedroom, grabbing Kageyama by the hand and leading him there. They laid down on Hinata’s twin bed, bodies forming against each other. Hinata’s breathing deepened and slowed with sleep. Kageyama wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	29. Her Face Seems Slowly Sinking Wasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

When Hinata woke the next morning, he knew he was in trouble. He left his uncle hanging last night, not telling him why he wouldn’t be able to take any clients. He was in for it, this time.

He shuffled, only to realize that he was still wrapped in Kageyama’s arms. The guitarist shuffled, too, waking up. Hinata looked back at him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Kageyama responded. He reached over and grabbed his phone. “You slept a lot. Like, fourteen hours.”

Hinata raised his eyebrows. “I guess I needed it.”

The two got up and found Kenma sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. He nodded as they walked in.

“I need to call in to work,” Hinata said. “Tell them why I’m not there.”

Kageyama handed him his phone and he did so- and luckily his boss picked up, not the assistant manager.

“Hey, kid, you alright?”

“I, uh... I actually was in the hospital yesterday. The doctor said something about exhaustion that made me collapse. I’m supposed to take a few days-“

“Take as long as you need,” his boss said. “And don’t forget, if you ever need anything-“

“You’re there,” Hinata finished, smiling. “Thanks.”

He hung up and turned back to Kageyama, who was holding out a cup of coffee and a banana.

“The doctor also said something about malnutrition,” Kageyama said. “You need to eat better.”

Hinata took the food and smiled, putting his phone in his pocket.

Hours passed and Kageyama didn’t leave. They had a lazy day, sitting and watching television while eating and napping in between. It was a wonderful day, one of the best days Hinata has had in a long, long time. He didn’t ever want this to end.

But, sadly, it did.

Eventually, Kageyama went home. Hinata kissed him goodbye and shut the door behind him, letting the smile leave his face. Kenma had left for class some time ago, so Hinata was alone.

It was probably a good time to call his uncle.

Hinata grabbed his phone, took a deep breath, and typed in the number. As it rang, Hinata felt a sense of foreboding. The man picked up.

“Where the fuck were you last night,” the man growled. “I could’ve made a lot of money, you know.”

“I was actually at the hospital,” Hinata said quietly. “The doctor said I passed out from exhaustion and that I need to do something to get more sleep or-“

“Do you really think I give a shit about your health? If you’re going to bitch and moan about this, then quit one of your other jobs. You better show up tonight, if you know what’s good for you- and be early. You need to make up for the shit you pulled yesterday.”

His uncle hung up. Hinata silently put the phone down, anger and fear boiling within him. What on earth was he supposed to do?

Soon, Kenma came back home. Hinata greeted him when he walked in.

“Have you eaten anything recently?” Kenma questioned.

Hinata thought for a second and shook his head. It was about dinner time. Kenma walked into the kitchen, grabbing some food and beginning to prepare it. Meanwhile, Hinata sat and worried. His uncle wanted him to be there tonight, but how was he going to do that if Kenma was breathing down his neck?

Kenma prepared the food and brought out two plates, placing one in Hinata’s hands along with a fork. Both males began to eat, finishing within no time- Kenma was a surprisingly good cook. Hinata started to clean up the dishes, but Kenma took them out of his hand.

“You need to rest,” he said. “I’ll clean up.”

“Actually,” Hinata replied, scratching the back of his neck. “I was wondering if I could go out tonight?”

“Why? Not that you need my permission, it’s just getting late and you really should be-“

“-Resting,” Hinata finished. “I know. I just need to take care of a few things, okay?”

Kenma nodded dubiously and Hinata put his shoes and coat on. He rushed down the stairs, beginning to walk towards his uncles house. He reached the front door and knocked on it. It opened soon after and he was grabbed by the collar and yanked inside.

“You have a long night ahead of you,” the man said.

Hinata robotically followed a stranger upstairs and submitted himself to the abuse. The redhead allowed himself to escape in his mind, turning off his senses and retreating. He was in the backyard of his childhood home. The garden was looked after, the sun was shining. Hinata was on the swing set and his mother was standing behind him, smiling as she pushed him higher and higher. This was before everything went wrong. Everything was perfect.

As time went on and it got later and later, as Hinata was passed from man to man, he realized something. He really did have to quit one of his jobs. He was finally let go at around one in the morning. It was relatively early, considering how late he’d usually get back, but he was still exhausted. No doubt he would be told to take another day off work. There was one thing he had to do that morning, though.

When he woke up after five short hours of sleep, he got ready and walked to the cafe. He didn’t wear his uniform, though, he carried that with him in his bag. When he walked through the doors, Hinata went straight to his boss. The man smiled when he turned and saw him.

“Hey, Hinata,” he said. “How are you doing? You look better than before. Shouldn’t you be taking another day off?”

“Yeah, about that,” Hinata replied awkwardly. He held out the uniform. “I’m quitting. Thank you, so much, for everything. It’s just that there’s so much going on right now and the doctor said that if I didn’t make some changes I’ll get sicker, and-“

“It’s okay,” his boss said. “Keep my number, though. Just in case you need anything.”

Hinata nodded with a small smile. “Thank you.”


	30. Crumbling Like Pastries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for dissociation!! stay safe!!

Kageyama sat down in his car and turned it on. He took a deep breath. Today was the day they’d find out how the audition went. He couldn’t sleep all night and, thank God, he didn’t have class today. So he drove to the warehouse. When he got there, Yachi, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi were sitting around and staring at Yachi’s phone. Kageyama sat on an empty beanbag chair and joined them. It was utterly silent until the phone rang. Yachi’s hand shot out and grabbed it.

“H-Hello?” The boys stood with her and watched intently. “Yes... Thank you... W-What?! Really?” Her eyes were wide and her smile was enormous. “Thank you so much! You won’t regret this, I promise.”

She hung up and there was a moment of calm during which all four young adults stared at each other. Then, Yachi nodded. After that, it was chaos. They all burst into a fit of screaming and laughing and crying and hugging.

“They want us to meet them at the studio on Saturday,” Yachi said, tears running down her cheeks. “Oh, God, this is crazy!”

Kageyama stepped forward as she buried her face in her hands and wrapped his arms around her. She returned the gesture and they both let tears of joy saturate Kageyama’s shirt and Yachi’s hair.

After a few minutes, the group regained their composure. They were still far too excited to actually practice, so they decided to go out for lunch. They happily walked down the street to a pizza place, chattering and smiling wide. All they could do was talk about what was next for them- gigs, tours, recordings.

When they walked back to the warehouse, the four parted ways and went home. Kageyama got into his car and called Hinata.

“Are you at home,” he asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m coming over,” Kageyama replied. “I’ve got great news.”

Hinata gasped and Kageyama could practically hear the smile on his face.

“Be quick then,” Hinata said.

He hung up and Kageyama drove even faster toward Hinata’s apartment. When he got there, he dashed up the stairs and knocked on the door, which opened promptly. Hinata stood before him, hair messy and clothes baggy. He’d obviously been relaxing, but he looked stunning even despite that.

“Let me guess,” Hinata said. “You guys got signed on?”

Kageyama nodded and Hinata closed the gap between them, kissing him right there in the doorway. He pulled away and yanked Kageyama into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. They continued to kiss and Hinata dragged him to the bedroom, pushing him on the bed and crawling on top of him. He planted their lips together again and Kageyama placed his hands on the smaller‘s waist, grinding his hips against Hinata’s.

Kageyama couldn’t take this. He flipped them around so Kageyama was on top and he ripped both their shirts off, going in for Hinata’s nipple. He pulled at the dancer’s waistband and the redhead shimmied out of his pants and underwear. Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s member, stroking it and eliciting a sharp gasp from the redhead.

“Ka-Kageyama,” he said.

“We can stop any time you want,” the musician said between kisses.

Hinata nodded, but couldn’t form words. Kageyama continued to touch him as he pulled out his own erection, pulling on a condom, spreading Hinata’s legs, and lining himself up before thrusting into him. He worked up a vigorous pace and listened to the sound of skin on skin with his own moans.

After a while he realized that something was missing from this. Hinata wasn’t making any noise. Kageyama looked down at his boyfriend to find his eyes wide and his face slack. He was staring past Kageyama, unseeing. A tear escaped from Hinata’s eye and rolled down his face.

“Hinata,” Kageyama said worriedly. “Hey, Shouyou?” He pulled out. “Shouyou!”

—

When Hinata felt Kageyama’s calloused hands on his inner thighs, spreading them apart, he barely even realized what was happening because Kageyama was still stroking him. By the time he was aware of what was happening, Kageyama was already pushing into him.

As soon as he felt that feeling of fullness, his surroundings changed. He was back in the yard of his old house, on the swing set. His mother was behind him, pushing him as he called for her to push him even higher.

“Shouyou,” she called.

He looked down to see her smiling up at him. “What, mommy?”

“Wake up!” He looked at her with confusion as she continued to yell. “Shouyou, wake up!”

“Shouyou!”

It was Kageyama’s voice and suddenly, he was staring up at his naked boyfriend. He gasped as he regained awareness and Kageyama continued to look down at him, worried.

“What just happened?” Kageyama asked. “Were you... Were you dissociating or something?”

Hinata realized the tears on his face and pushed on Kageyama’s chest. His boyfriend helped him sit up and he let more tears fall.

“I’m sorry,” he cried, pressing his hands to his face. “I really wanted to do this for you, I just...”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kageyama soothed, rubbing his back. “It’s okay. What was that about?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just got freaked out?”

“Does that happen a lot?”

Hinata responded with a whisper. “Only when I have sex.”

They were silent, Hinata staring at the floor as Kageyama slowly took him into his arms. Hinata let himself unravel.

“It’s okay,” Kageyama whispered, hugging him impossibly closer and kissing the top of his head. “Shh, it’s alright.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE MOST PORNY THING IVE EVER WRITTEN BUT IT WAS NECESSARY TO THE STORY OK IM SORRY I FEEL GROSS


	31. And They Scream, “The Worst Things In Life Come Free To Us”

After Hinata had calmed down, he insisted that Kageyama should leave. He was embarrassed and didn’t like Kageyama seeing him this upset. He sat in his bedroom the rest of the day, unwilling to talk to anyone. When the sky got dark, Hinata got dressed and showered and headed out towards his uncles house.

When he got there, he was immediately handed over to a man who led him upstairs. Hinata let himself be stripped and fucked, but as soon as they began, he dissociated.

He was back on that swing set but even though he was aware that it wasn’t real, he didn’t try to break out of it. He didn’t want to see reality.

What really snapped him out of it was a slap to the face. His cheek stung and the man was pulling out of him.

“You’re useless,” the man said. “You’re like a fucking robot, who wants to have sex with someone like you? Not only are you disgusting, you’re the worst hookup I’ve ever had.”

“Wait,” Hinata said, pulling up his pants and walking down the stairs after him. “I-I’ll do better, just-“

“What’s going on here?”

They turned to see Hinata’s uncle standing behind them.

“Your nephew here is useless,” the man spat. “I want my money back.”

“No refunds,” his uncle said. “You knew that going into this.”

The man punched the door before opening it and going out, slamming it behind him. The next second, Hinata’s uncle was on him.

“What the hell is wrong with you, huh?”

“I-I’m sor-“

“I don’t fucking care! I thought that you were at least good for sex, but you can’t even do that right!” His uncle smacked him and he cried out. “If you don’t kill yourself, I might!”

That was the last thing he said before he sent a punishing blow to Hinata’s head, knocking him off his feet and sending his head crashing into a nearby table.

—

The first thing that penetrated Hinata’s consciousness was the pain. His head was absolutely throbbing and when he cracked open his eyes, his vision took a second to clear. He was still lying in his uncles house, next to a table that was between the staircase and the door. The television was on in the next room and Hinata could hear his uncle snoring, having fallen asleep while watching it.

Hinata slowly pushed himself up, ignoring the nausea and the pain. When he was sitting upright, he saw the blood on the floor. It was his. He touched the most painful part of his head and his fingers came back covered in blood. He sighed, screwing his eyes shut, before standing up. Hinata caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window on the door and the side of his face was entirely covered with red.

What is he supposed to do? Kenma, Daichi, and Kageyama were surely suspecting something, he couldn’t let them see him like this.

There was one person he could call.

He took out his phone and found the contact he was looking for.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s... It’s Hinata.”

“Oh, hi! Is everything alright? It’s one in the morning.”

“Sorry to wake you, but I need your help.”

—

Hinata knocked on the door of his boss’s- well, his former boss’s- house and it was opened hastily. The man stood there in front of him, eyes going wide.

“Oh, Hinata, get in here!”

He walked inside. “Sorry to be here so late, sir.”

“Please,” his boss said. “Just call me John.” He guided Hinata to the bathroom and instructed him to sit on the edge of the tub. “What happened?”

“I, ah...” Hinata hadn’t thought of an excuse yet. “It’s not a big deal, I just... I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Not a big deal? Wh...” John trailed off as he looked at his former employee. “Did someone hurt you?”

“I can’t talk about it,” Hinata said. “I just... I’m planning on getting things sorted out soon. This won’t happen again.”

John put some hydrogen peroxide on a hand towel and began dabbing the blood away. Hinata heard small footsteps coming down the hallway and the door was pushed open slightly.

“Daddy?” A little girl was at the door. “What happened?”

“Nothing, sweetheart,” John said. “One of my friends got hurt. Just go back to bed.”

The girl left and John went back to cleaning Hinata’s face.

“How old is she,” Hinata asked.

“She turns eight this June. I have two sons, too. One is seventeen and one just turned twelve.”

Hinata winced as the rag touched the gash on his forehead and John apologized.

“I’m glad they have a dad like you,” Hinata said. “Maybe... Maybe that way they won’t end up like me.”

“You didn’t have a good relationship with your dad?”

“No.”

He continued to dab at the wound before grabbing some gauze and medical tape and securing a bandage.

“You nauseous? Dizzy at all?”

“Kind of,” Hinata replied.

“You should sleep here tonight,” John insisted. “You can take the pullout couch.”

“N-No, I can’t-“

“You can. I’ll set things up. I want to keep an eye on you.”

John went to leave the room and Hinata went to follow him, but when he stood up he was overcome with dizziness and fell against the wall. John turned around and caught him, walking him back to the tub and sitting him back down.

“I’m definitely keeping an eye on you,” he said, letting Hinata regain his composure. “Let’s try this again.”

He grabbed Hinata’s arm and assisted him in getting up slowly. They walked into the living room where a woman sat on the couch- she was blonde, just like John, but had brown eyes instead of blue. She stood up when they walked in.

“I’m Erika,” she said. “John has told me about you.”

Hinata smiled weakly. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

They got the bed ready and Hinata got into it, thanking the couple as they turned out the lights and went back to bed, themselves.

Needless to say, Hinata envied John’s kids. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH this chapter was fun to write.


	32. Cause We’re Just Under The Upper Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i kind of feel bad for everything that’s going to happen but whatever

Hinata woke that morning when the rest of the family did. He watched the hustle of the kids getting ready for school and the parents getting ready for work. He met John’s kids, the eldest son named David, the twelve year old named Jasper, and the daughter named Haley. They’d moved to Japan from America when David was five and had adjusted well.

“What happened to your face?” Jasper asked.

“I, ah... It’s nothing, really.”

“Leave him alone,” David said.

They got ready and the kids went with Erika while Hinata went with John. When he got in the car with him, he spoke.

“You know,” he said. “I-I really... I wish my dad was like you.”

John smiled and looked over at him. “That means a lot, Hin-“

“Call me Shouyou.”

John dropped Hinata off at his apartment and the redhead walked inside, flopping down onto the couch. Kenma was on him instantly.

“Where were you last- What the hell happened to your face?!”

“It’s not a big deal,” Hinata said. “I had a job and things didn’t go so well.”

“So where were you?”

“My old boss from the cafe helped me out,” Hinata replied. “I’m okay, really.”

Kenma sighed. “Alright.“

Hinata retreated to his room and collapsed on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered how he’d get himself out of this.

—

Kageyama wanted- no, he needed to see Hinata again. Leaving your boyfriend in tears after a failed attempt at sex during which he dissociated isn’t easy.

Today was supposed to be Hinata’s last day before he was back to work, though the redhead had told him how he’d quit the job at the cafe. Kageyama wanted to see him before they both had to be at their jobs, so he drove to the apartment building and walked upstairs, knocking on his apartment door. The door opened just a crack.

“Kageyama,” came Hinata’s voice. “I’ll open the door if you promise not to freak out.”

“Wha- Uh... Okay?”

Hinata opened the door the rest of the way and Kageyama was presented with an injured boyfriend. There was a gash above his right eyebrow and heavy bruising all around the spot. The bruising went under his eye and faded along his delicate cheekbone.

“God! What happened?!”

“I told you not to freak out,” the redhead sighed, turning around and walking into the apartment. Kageyama followed.

“That looks awful, who did that to you?”

Hinata whirled around on him. “It’s nothing! I’m fine!”

Kageyama grabbed his shoulders. “You’re not fine! Something’s wrong and it has been for a while.”

Hinata was silent then. He closed his eyes with a sigh and grasped Kageyama’s hands in his own.

“I’m figuring things out,” he said. “Things will be okay, I promise.”

Kageyama took Hinata in his arms. “They better be.”

—

After Kageyama left, Hinata had a plan. That night, he’d go to his uncle’s and call things off. He couldn’t do this anymore. Not when he was even more at risk of getting killed or injured.

When the night came, Hinata walked over. He went as quickly as possible so he could get there early- that way he wouldn’t be immediately thrust into a job. He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath to prepare himself before knocking. His uncle answered the door.

“You’re here early,” he said. “Glad you’re ready to make up for-“

“Actually,” Hinata interrupted. “I’m here to talk to you.”

His uncle moved out of the way and let Hinata enter and he did so, walking into the kitchen.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he stated.

His uncle raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“I... I quit.”

“Listen here, boy,” the man said, walking towards him and grabbing his arm. “You’re making me a ton of money here. You’re not getting out of this that easy.”

Hinata looked at him wearily. “You’re... You’re not saving me any of the money, are you?” His uncle stayed silent and Hinata tried to wrench out of his grasp. “I’m leaving.”

The man grabbed him and slammed his back against the wall, his already injured head slamming onto it. Hinata cried out and screwed his eyes shut as the world turned slightly.

“No you’re not. I know about that boyfriend of yours- the one that was at the funeral.” He smiled. “You wouldn’t want anything to happen to him, would you?” Hinata gulped. “If you quit or tell anyone about this, I’ll know, and he’ll be dead before you can even blink.”

The air was knocked from Hinata’s chest. Would his uncle really kill Kageyama?

“No,” he said breathlessly. “N-No, please don’t hurt him, I’ll- I’ll...” He caught his breath. “I’ll do anything.”

His uncle’s smile grew impossibly wider. “Anything?” He let Hinata go. “Then you only have one customer tonight.”

“W-Who?” Hinata whispered.

“Me.”


	33. And Go Mad For A Couple Grams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR SELF HARM!!!  
> also you’ll see some daisuga for like three seconds :)

Hinata’s uncle was rough with him. Incredibly so. He was covered with bruises head to toe and he had to admit that the whole time the man was using him, he cried. Softly at first, as to not enrage him, but his crying then turned into complete sobbing. He couldn’t help it. He was just so terrified and it hurt, so much.

“It’s a wonder that you’re still so tight,” his uncle said. “The last time I fucked you, you were fourteen. God, I forgot how great you feel.”

Hinata was taken back to that basement in his parent’s old house. He didn’t remember many of the men who had taken advantage of him, but now he remembered his uncle. He’d come in every once in a while and take his time with his nephew, pushing the teen hard into the mattress.

When it was all over, his uncle fell asleep next to him on the bed, one hand on his waist and the other hand on his chest. It was almost affectionate. It made Hinata feel sick. He slowly got up- and luckily his uncle slept through it. Hinata collected his clothes and put them on ever so slowly, as to cause the least amount of pain possible. Wiping his tears, the redhead left, walking back home.

When he reached the apartment, Hinata waited until he was in his bedroom to fall apart. He fell to his knees in the middle of the floor and let out a heart wrenching sob that turned into a scream at the end. The dancer didn’t care who could hear him. Kenma obviously could, because the older boy rushed into his bedroom, not even bothering to knock.

“Shouyou,” he said from the doorway. “What’s wrong? Are you-“

“Get out!” Hinata was screaming. “Get out!” Kenma stared at him with wide eyes, but didn’t move. “Leave me alone! Get out, get out, _get out!”_

“O-Okay,” Kenma said, closing the door behind him.

Hinata got up and locked the door before rummaging under his bed for his razor. He shimmied out of his pants and began slicing up his skin. The cuts were deep. He carved up his thighs until they were completely covered in blood.

At some point, Hinata fell asleep while crying. When he woke up, it was late morning and he had a few hours left before work. He got into the shower and cleaned himself up, letting the blood go down the drain. He looked at the cuts on his thighs. They were... bad. Worse than he’d ever cut before. Sighing, Hinata made sure he cleaned the cuts without opening them back up and got dressed and ready for work.

When he arrived, Noya was there immediately.

“What happened to your face?“

“I, ah... I fell on a table.”

At least it wasn’t a _complete_ lie.

“Be more careful,” Noya said with a laugh. “I knew you were clumsy, but you really did a number on yourself!”

Hinata chuckled and got to the break room to set his stuff down. When he opened the door, he was surprised at what he saw.

Suga was lying on the couch and Daichi was on top of him. Their mouths were smashed together and they were frantically grabbing at each other. They didn’t notice Hinata when he walked in. He cleared his throat and the two looked up, faces flushed and hair a mess.

“Oh,” Daichi said, eyes wide. His face went from shock to embarrassment, then back to shock, then to a mix of anger and worry. “What the-“

“I’m fine,” Hinata said. “I’m fine, I really am.”

Daichi stood, fixing his shirt, and Suga got up after him. “No, you’re not. Somehow, you look worse than before you took time off.”

Hinata was shocked for a second before he got defensive. “I said I’m fine, so I’m fine.”

“Why won’t you tell me what-“

“Stop!” Hinata didn’t mean to yell. It just sort of... happened. He took a deep breath and calmed down before speaking again. “Look, if I need your help, I’ll ask. But for now I’m okay, okay?”

Daichi looked at him dubiously. “Alright.” He and Suga headed towards the door before he turned around. “You won’t... Tell anyone what you saw, right?”

Hinata smiled. “Of course not.”

—

After his surprisingly okay day at The Crow, Hinata walked to his uncle’s once again. He felt a familiar sense of foreboding as he knocked on the door and his uncle silently answered. Hinata walked inside and was routinely taken upstairs by an unfamiliar man. They began and Hinata was close to losing his awareness again, almost thrown into another dissociative episode. When he was teetering on the edge, he was snapped out of it by a slap.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” The man asked. “Do something!”

Hinata tried. He tried his best to participate but after last night with his uncle, he was even more run down than before. The man shoved himself into Hinata and the redhead cried out. The man slapped him again and instructed him to act like he’s enjoying it. He was trying, he tried so hard, but it wasn’t good enough. Soon, the man pulled out of him and shoved him off the bed and onto the floor. Before Hinata could get up, a boor was slamming into his rib cage.

“If you can’t even get fucked right,” the man screamed. “At least let me teach you a lesson!”

The kicks kept coming and Hinata cried out with each impact. He tried to crawl away, but the man grabbed his leg and pulled him away from the door. Next the man was on top of him, throwing punches. Hinata screamed.

“No, stop! Please, I’m- Ah! I’m sorry!”

The man wouldn’t relent. After a few minutes, he finally stopped and stood, gathering his things and walking out the door. Hinata was left a bloody, crying heap on the floor. He got up ever so slowly and collected his clothes, putting them on and limping towards the door. His ribs ached with every single breath he took and he was incredibly dizzy. This wasn’t good.

It was then that Hinata realized that he needed to get help.


	34. And She Don’t Wanna Go Outside, Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Hinata limped in the hospital doors and went straight to the front desk. He must have looked worse than he thought because the nurse took one look at him and brought him straight back to a room. He was left alone for a very short time before a doctor came inside.

“Hello, Hinata,” she said. “What happened to cause this?”

He sighed. “I’m not here to talk about that, I just need help.”

“Alright, but I’m required to ask these questions. So what happened?”

“I, ah...” Hinata thought. “I fell down the stairs.”

She typed it into her computer. “Where are you hurt?”

“My head, my ribs... Everywhere, mostly.”

The doctor instructed him to take his shirt off and he did so, letting her look at his deeply bruised chest. She ordered an x-ray and then reached into a cabinet to get supplies to clean his head. As she was in the process of doing so, she asked another question.

“What actually happened?” Hinata was silent. “Your bruises don’t look like injuries sustained from falling. It looks like someone did this to you.”

“I fell,” Hinata insisted.

“Alright.”

He got cleaned up and went for his x-ray, but when he got back there was someone standing outside his room.

A cop.

Hinata stopped in his tracks and the nurse ushered him forward. He went slowly.

“Are you Hinata?” He nodded. “I’m Iwaizumi. I have a few questions for you, alright?” They walked into Hinata’s room and the redhead sat down on the bed while the officer stood. “I’m just going to cut to the chase. Who are you working for?”

Hinata felt his blood run cold. “What?”

“I know you’re a prostitute,” the cop said. “We’ve known about you for a long time, but we also know you don’t want to be doing this. You’re being pimped off.”

“No,” Hinata said. “I fell down the stairs. That’s all.”

“The doctor said your wounds are in different stages of healing. You’ve been being abused for a while now. So, let me ask you again: who are you working for?”

“No one. I’m- I’m not a prostitute.” His voice wavered and he shook with fear.

“We need your help,” said the cop. “Prostitutes are being murdered and I feel that you might know who’s doing it. Come on, think.”

Hinata stared the cop straight in the eyes and lied. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll tell you what,” the officer said, handing Hinata a card. “Here’s my mobile number. Please, use it.”

Hinata took the card and the officer left the room.

Fifteen minutes later, the x-ray results came back. He had two cracked ribs, but nothing was completely broken. Besides that, he had a concussion and was bruised pretty badly. He was given medicine for pain and sent home.

Hinata left the hospital and trudged back to his apartment. When he reached the building, he slowly ascended the stairs, checking the time. It was already two in the morning. Hinata unlocked the apartment door-

-to see Kenma on the floor, tape covering his mouth, hands bound behind his back, and bruises on his face.

“Oh, my God, Kenma-“

Hinata was interrupted when the door shut behind him. He turned to see who the perpetrator was.

“Hello, Shouyou.”

It was his uncle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	35. And In A Pipe She’ll Fly To The Motherland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, my guys ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Hello, Shouyou.”

The air was knocked from Hinata’s lungs and he felt himself blanch. “W-What are you doing here?”

His uncle walked around him so he was standing next to Kenma. “I think you know.” The man walked towards Hinata until his back was pressed against the wall next to the door. His voice was scarily calm. “Where have you been?”

“I-I, uh, I was, uh-“

“What did you tell them?”

“I ha-haven’t told-“

“Stop lying to me!” His uncle ran forward and grabbed his shirt, slamming him up against the wall, making the dancer cry out. “What did you tell them?”

“I didn’t tell them anything!”

The man leaned in and sniffed Hinata’s hair, nipping at his ear.

“St-Stop,” Hinata protested.

“Oh, come on, Shouyou,” his uncle said. “You remember all those nights we used to have when you were a kid? When I’d come in during the night and I’d touch you here-“ He grabbed Hinata’s ass and he jumped. “And here-“ He palmed Hinata’s dick and he yelped in surprise. “You’d scream for me, all night long, and I’d fuck you as hard as I-“

“Stop,” Hinata whimpered. “Please.”

Hinata saw a glint out of the corner of his eye and looked down.

His uncle was holding a knife.

“Wha-What?! What are you doing?!”

“I’m done with you, Shouyou.”

“Then let me go,” he pleaded. “I’ll never tell anyone anything, I swear!”

“You lying whore,” his uncle grumbled.

It felt like a punch to the stomach at first. A punch that reached deep into his core. The air left his lungs with a grunt and he couldn’t seem to take another breath. When he pulled the knife out, Hinata’s vision went white. His legs gave out, but his uncle was holding him up by his shirt and plunging the knife back into his abdomen. He grabbed his uncle’s arms, holding himself upright and staring into the man’s angry eyes as he pulled the knife out and stabbed him once more. Hinata could hear Kenma’s muffled screams through the tape as his uncle took the knife out again and threw him to the floor.

Hinata watched out of the corner of his eye as the man walked out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him. He saw Kenma just shaking free of the bonds on his hands, taking the tape off his mouth. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the older boy grabbed his phone. Hinata heard him saying something frantically into it, but couldn’t quite make out what it was. Then, the redhead made the mistake of glancing down towards his abdomen. That’s when he saw the blood.

As the seconds dragged on, the pain increased. Hinata wasn’t even aware he was crying out until Kenma was kneeling over him.

“Ken... Kenma,” he whispered. “He hur-hurt you.” Tears leaked from Hinata’s pained eyes.

“No,” Kenma said. “I’m fine, I’m right here and I’m fine.”

“This is all my fault,” Hinata breathed. “I’m... I’m so s-sorry.”

“Shh,” Kenma hushed. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay. Listen, I hear the sirens now. They’re on their way and they’re going to help us.”

Hinata groaned and more tears escaped his eyes. The edges of his vision were fading to black and he was just barely able to keep his eyes open as the paramedics reached the apartment door. The redhead was vaguely aware of the fact that he was being picked up and placed on a gurney, as well as the rushing of people around him. He was moving. The gurney was moving. When they got outside, he watched the sky move past him. The moon was up high and the stars were bright. It was beautiful.

But then he was in the ambulance. The bright light was harsh in comparison to the dark sky he had just seen. People were leaning over him as he winced from the brightness.

“Sir,” a male voice said. “Can you tell me your name?”

“H-Hin-Hah...” He couldn’t breathe.

“He’s hyperventilating,” the medic said.

Hinata didn’t hear what happened next. He was aware of a rapid, incessant beeping, which probably represented his heart, but other than that, he couldn’t hear or see a thing. After a flash of white, Hinata’s vision darkened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would have posted this earlier but i just got back from homecoming and ahhhh!!!! i had the best time!! hinata isn’t having a good time though. oops.


	36. Or Sells Love To Another Man

Kageyama was awakened by his phone ringing. He groggily reached a hand over to his bedside table and fumbled around for his phone, reaching it and looking at the number before answering.

“Kenma?”

He was met with indecipherable wailing. It was so loud he flinched and distanced the phone from his ear.

“Kenma, slow down, what happened?”

“Hin-Hinata, there was this guy and he- he- oh, God!”

“Take a deep bre-“

“I couldn’t do anything, Kageyama, I swear, I-“

There was some muffled conversation that cut him off and then it was someone else’s voice on the phone.

“Kageyama? Yeah, It’s Kuroo.”

“What happened?”

“You need to get to the hospital. Hinata’s been stabbed.”

—

Kageyama and Suga burst into the hospital. They both had on their pajamas and were, to put it simply, a mess. Kageyama was practically running when he laid eyes on Daichi in the waiting room. He stood.

“Hinata’s still in surgery,” he said. “They’re checking Kenma out too because he got beat up. Kuroo is back with him.”

“What did the doctor say?” Kageyama pried. “Is he going to...?”

“He said it’s hard to tell,” Daichi said solemnly. “It could go either way at this point.”

Kageyama swayed where he stood and Suga grabbed his shoulders, directing him to a chair before his legs gave out. He fisted his hands in his hair, pulling at the black locks and causing tears to form in his eyes.

“No, no, no,” Suga said. “Don’t do this, Tobio.”

“I c-can’t... I can’t br-eathe.”

Suga crouched down in front of him. “Yes, you can. You can breathe. Come on, just do it with me, okay?”

Kageyama screwed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No, no, I can’t-“

“Look at me,” Suga said. “Look at me, Tobio.”

The musician opened his eyes and pried them away from the floor, looking into Suga’s calming face.

“Good. Now breathe.”

They breathed together for several moments until Kageyama got his breathing to match that of his roommate’s.

“He can’t leave,” Kageyama said, voice cracking.

“I know,” Suga said.

“I love him, Suga.”

“I know.”

“I can’t do this without him.”

“You won’t have to,” Daichi piped in. “You won’t. He’s not going to die.”

“Dai,” Suga said. “You can’t be-“

“No!” Daichi yelled. “He’s going to be fine!”

Everyone in the waiting room had looked over at them. Daichi was standing and looking around the room before he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” he mumbled before he walked towards the door.

Kenma came out eventually. His arm was in a sling and his eyes were red rimmed, one of them bruised. Whoever did this wasn’t messing around. He sat down in between Kageyama and Kuroo, leaning on the latter with an exhausted look on his face.

The next few hours were grueling. Daichi paced the length of the waiting room the entire time. Suga was rubbing Kageyama’s arm constantly. Kageyama... He was paralyzed. He couldn’t bring himself to get up or show any emotion or take a drink of water. He wasn’t numb, though. He felt the unimaginable fear. The pain. The anger. Who would do this to his boyfriend? Sweet, loving, beautiful Hinata? Why would anyone want to do this to him?

“Hinata Shouyou?” The five of them stood, rushing over to the nurse. “He’s stable,” she said. “He lost a lot of blood and it was touch and go for a little while, but he should be fine now.“

Kageyama’s knees almost gave out. “Can we see him?”

“Of course.”

The nurse led the boys to Hinata’s room and they piled in, all trying to get a look at their friend. When Kageyama laid eyes on him, he almost lost his composure. There was his boyfriend, lying motionless in that bed with tubes and wires connected to him. He let out a single sob as he stumbled over to the side of the bed, grasping Hinata’s hand and pressing it against his face. He was so thin and pale. He looked dead.

“Which one of you is Sawamura Daichi?” The boys looked over to a middle aged nurse standing in the doorway. Daichi raised his hand. “I have some papers you need to sign.”

They left and Kageyama found his voice to ask a question. “Why him?”

“He’s Hinata’s emergency contact,” Suga explained. “For a while he didn’t have anyone else.”

Kageyama hummed in acknowledgment.

Kuroo sighed and placed a gentle hand on Kenma’s shoulder. “We should get going. You’re staying with me tonight.”

“No, I need to be here when Shouyou wakes up.”

“Look at you, you’re exhausted,” Kuroo said. “When he sees you like that he’s only going to feel guilty.”

Kenma put his head down in defeat and let Kuroo lead him from the room. Now it was just Suga and Kageyama.

“He’s fine,” Suga whispered. “He’s alive and he’ll be okay.”

“He’s not okay, Suga, he’s not. He was stabbed, he’s not okay.”

Suga walked over to him and put a calming hand on his back. “He will be. He has you.”

With a final pat on his back, Suga retreated from the room. Kageyama clutched Hinata’s hand and leaned over onto the bed, closing his eyes.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because next thing he knew, Suga was shaking his shoulder.

“We’re gonna go,” he said. “I know that you’re not going to leave, so call me if you need anything, alright?”

Kageyama nodded and watched them leave. He continued to hold Hinata’s hand and drift into and out of a sort of sleep when he felt Hinata’s hand gently squeeze his. He shot into an upright position.

“Ka-Kagey-yama?” Hinata called.

Kageyama watched as his eyes slowly opened halfway. He leaned forward.

“Shouyou?” Hinata looked at him. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

Kageyama watched as Hinata’s face scrunched up, seemingly in pain, and tears started to form in his eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you-“

“I’m s-sorry,” he croaked.

Kageyama felt himself start to break. “What... What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It’s... It’s all my fault, I-“

Hinata’s voice broke and he sobbed and then winced. His breathing was heavy and he was crying now, the beep of his heart rate increasing. A nurse came into the room.

“Hinata?” She said. “Hinata, I need you to calm down, can you do that for me?”

After a few moments, Hinata’s heart slowed and his eyes closed again. He was asleep.


	37. It’s Too Cold Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arc 2 is almost over!!

_It was dark. Dark and cold. He would’ve tried to escape, but he knew the door would be locked. He knew he was correct when he heard those locks click and the door opened, light coming inside the room. **Just pretend you’re asleep. Maybe he’ll leave you alone.**_

_It didn’t work. The man closed the door behind him and walked in the dark towards Hinata’s bed, taking his blanket off of him._

_“No,” Hinata whimpered. “No-“_

_“Shh,” his uncle said. “Relax.”_

_He put his hand on Hinata’s thigh and he tried to shrink away but the hand held him there. His pants were coming off. He was being touched. **Please, stop.**_

_**Please.** _

“Please.”

“Shouyou?”

Hinata’s eyes cracked open. That’s right, was in the hospital. Because he was stabbed. Stabbed by the same man who touched him those nights when all he wanted to do was sleep.

Kageyama was staring at him with worry etched into his features. “Are you alright?”

Hinata nodded. “Where’s Kenma?”

“He went home with Kuroo,” Kageyama said. “He’s fine, just upset.” The musician leaned forward. “What happened?”

Hinata blanched. “Oh, God,” he cried. “When he finds out I’m alive, he’ll... He’ll kill you.”

Kageyama raised his eyebrows. “Who?”

Hinata looked at him helplessly and responded in a whisper. “My uncle.”

“What are you talking abo-“

There was a knock on the door and a police officer walked in. It was the same officer that Hinata talked to at the hospital a day ago.

“I’d like to ask you a few questions, if that’s okay,” Iwaizumi said. Hinata nodded. “Did your pimp do this to you?”

Hinata stared at the sheets of the bed and he saw out of the corner of his eye as Kageyama’s head whipped over to look at him. Hinata nodded.

“Will you finally tell me who he is?” Iwaizumi asked. “We can’t help you if you don’t let us. I promise on my life that I won’t let him hurt you or anyone else again, but I can only do that if you tell me who he is.”

“He’s my uncle,” Hinata whispered again.

Iwaizumi wrote something down. “What is his name?”

“Hinata Kozu.”

“Where does he live?”

Hinata gave him the address and Iwaizumi stood up, heading towards the door.

“I’ll let you rest now,” he said. “We’re going to find him.”

Iwaizumi left and Hinata looked back over to Kageyama, who had a look of complete horror on his face.

“He was...” Kageyama trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata whispered. “He said he’d get me money for college, but he never was and I tried to leave him, I really did, but he said he’d kill you, I’m so sorry, please don’t leave me, I’m-“

“I’m not mad,” Kageyama said, placing a comforting hand on Hinata’s arm. “I’m not mad and I’m not leaving.”

Hinata laid his head back against the pillow. Kageyama stood and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you,” he said. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise.”

Kageyama cupped his cheek in a calloused hand and Hinata leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

“I love you too.”

When Hinata woke next, he was alone. He felt panic settle deep in his chest, his airway tightening.

“Kageyama?” Hinata whimpered. “Kageya-“

“Let me in there,” he heard a muffled shout from the hallway. “That’s my nephew, I’m his only living relative! Let go!”

Hinata tried to sit up, wide awake and alert, but was met with pain. Before he could even react, his uncle was inside the room and striding over to Hinata’s bed. He shrank into the mattress and his uncle grabbed him by his throat, pressing down and squeezing, hard. Hinata struggled for air and clawed at the hands holding him, tears leaking from his eyes. As his vision went black around the edges, Hinata saw security guards grabbing at his uncle and pulling him away. The man didn’t give in until eventually he couldn’t hold on any longer and he released Hinata’s throat.

“I swear to God, I’m going to kill you!”

Hinata heard the shouts as he coughed and cried, Kageyama coming into the room and dropping his cup of coffee before running over and wrapping his arms around him. Hinata didn’t pay attention as they made the arrest and took him out of the room. He leaned into Kageyama’s chest, letting his arms engulf him completely.

“I’m sorry,” Kageyama said. “I just went to get a drink, I shouldn’t have left. I won’t let him touch you ever again.”

Kageyama hoped it was a promise he could keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter to go!


	38. For Angels To Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION AT THE END

A few days later, Hinata was discharged. They walked into Hinata’s apartment, Kageyama holding his boyfriend’s arm to hold him steady, and saw Kenma standing there when they walked inside. Hinata stopped in his tracks before his face scrunched up and he started to cry. He slowly walked forward, arms outstretched, and gathered Kenma into a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry,” he cried. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

“No. No it wasn’t.”

Hinata pulled away from the hug.

“Do you want to go lay down,” Kageyama asked.

Hinata nodded and Kageyama helped him walk to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. He winced as his healing abdominal muscles worked to keep him from falling until he was completely flat.

“Need anything?” Kageyama asked.

Hinata thought. “Water, maybe.”

Kageyama went and grabbed him a glass and, as a second thought, grabbed the narcotic that was sitting on the table. He went back into Hinata’s bedroom and placed them both on the bedside table.

“Will you stay,” Hinata asked.

“Sure.”

Kageyama sat on the edge of the bed and laid down next to his boyfriend, putting Hinata’s head on his chest.

Kageyama must have dozed off at some point, too, because he woke up to yelling. Hinata was crying out in his sleep, positively screaming for help. Kageyama shook him and he woke up, but it only seemed to make him more afraid. His eyes were wide and he was crying.

“Shouyou, you’re safe. It’s okay-“

“No! It’s not okay!” Hinata was screaming. “It’s not okay, I’ll never be okay! I hate this, I hate it!”

Kageyama pulled him close. “You’re safe. I won’t let-“

“You’ve said that before,” Hinata cried. “You’ve promised before that I wouldn’t get hurt or raped ever again, and you lied. You promised to protect me and you didn’t!”

Kageyama was crying now. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“I hate you, Kageyama!”

With a gasp, Kageyama started awake. It was a dream. He was crying. He looked to see Hinata still fast asleep against his chest. He brought his hands up and wiped the tears from his eyes and the sweat from his brow and must’ve woken Hinata up accidentally because his small boyfriend shuffled slightly.

“Tobio? Are you okay?”

Kageyama nodded. “I’m fine. Just a dream.”

“What did you dream about?”

The musician was at a loss for words at first. “I should be comforting you, not the other way around.”

“Tobio,” Hinata whined. “Let me do this for you. Just so I’m not _completely_ useless.”

“You’re not useless,” Kageyama stated. “You’re not.”

“I am,” Hinata whispered. “I can’t do anything.”

Kageyama held him tighter. “I couldn’t, either,” he said softly. “That’s what I was dreaming about- how I couldn’t do anything. How I promise you over and over again that I’ll protect you but I never do.”

“Tobio...”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know I’ve failed, but I also know that I just need to get over it. You don’t blame me and I know that, okay?”

“I don’t blame you,” Hinata said. “I really don’t. I love you.”

Hinata shuffled so he was able to swing an arm over Kageyama’s stomach. The guitarist gently squeezed Hinata back.

“We should get up soon,” Kageyama said. “We’ve been sleeping for hours. If we go back to sleep we won’t be able to rest tonight.”

Hinata sighed. “Fine.”

Kageyama stood first and Hinata grabbed his arms, slowly sitting up and wincing.

“Everything hurts,” he whined.

“I know,” Kageyama said, trying to console him. He checked the time. “You’re due for more medicine.”

He helped Hinata to his feet and they walked slowly to the living room. Hinata’s steps were slow and small because the small jostle that each step sent through his body was incredibly painful. When they got to the couch, someone knocked on the door. Hinata sat and Kageyama went to answer it. When he did so, there was a man with blond hair standing outside in the hallway, eyes wide.

“Is Hinata there?”

Kageyama raised his eyebrows. “Who’s asking?”

“I’m John, he’s a former employee of mine.”

“Just let him in,” Hinata called. “He’s fine.”

Kageyama opened the door and stepped out of the way and the man walked in. Hinata attempted to stand but John shook his head.

“No, no, you’re hurt. You don’t have to get up.” He walked closer and sat next to him. “I just heard about what happened. Well, I don’t know the full story, just that you’re hurt.”

“How’d you find out?” Hinata asked.

“An Officer Iwaizumi came asking about you and said you were assaulted.” His eyebrows were drawn with worry. “What happened?”

Hinata stuttered for a moment. “I was just caught up in some pretty dangerous stuff. The guy tried to kill me a few days ago, but I’m fine now and they put him away.”

“So it won’t be happening again?”

“It won’t.”

John looked at him, worry still evident on his features. “Good,” he said with a nod, placing his hand on top of Hinata’s. “Good. That’s good.” He stood up. “Well, I should get going. Haley wants me home for dinner.”

“Thank you for coming,” Hinata said. “Really, it means a lot.”

“Oh, and Shouyou,” John said, turning around before walking out the door. “You’re like a son to me. I’d like to have you over sometime soon for dinner.”

The dancer smiled. “Thanks. I’ll take you up on that.”

John left and Kageyama sat next to his boyfriend. “Who was that?”

“My old boss from the cafe. He’s helped me out in the past.”

Kageyama nodded, putting one arm around Hinata and reaching the other arm to grab the remote, turning on the television. Hinata winced as he shuffled to get comfortable and Kageyama squeezed his shoulder. Before long, Hinata’s breathing was deep and relaxed and Kageyama looked down to see Hinata asleep. He studied his features, the long eyelashes and faint freckles that dotted his nose and cheekbones. Kageyama smiled. That was his boyfriend. His.

He wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arc 2 is done!!! i’ve started writing the third and final arc, but before i finish it i need your opinion.   
> do you guys want the happy ending or the sad ending?   
> PLEEEASE answer in the comments!! I’ll start posting arc 3 on March 7th! thanks for reading!


	39. An Angel Will Die, Covered In White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i say march 7th??? i meant TODAY!

It had been over a month since Hinata was discharged from the hospital. He’d gone back to work at both The Crow and the cafe. His uncle was arrested and confessed to the murders of three prostitutes as well as the attempted murder of his nephew.

Word got out that Hinata’s parents had sold him off since he was a child and the redhead was asked to remember the most traumatic events of his childhood so they could convict the pedophiles who bought him. He had several meetings with Officer Iwaizumi and his colleagues during which they showed him pictures and asked him to walk them through the assaults. These meetings were grueling, but he helped arrest eight pedophiles within a single month. Hinata would do anything to help other kids out there.

Kageyama usually stayed over the nights after these meetings. He and Hinata slept in the same bed and the musician held him while he vented to him about the unpleasant memories that he’d uncovered with Iwaizumi.

“Why does everyone want to touch me all the time,” Hinata cried one night while letting out his emotions. “I don’t get it, why does everyone want to do this to me?”

“Is it alright if I touch you?” Kageyama asked.

“Yes, you idiot!”

Hinata started crying and Kageyama held him even closer until he calmed down.

Kageyama would kiss the top of his head when he got too upset or wipe his tears whenever he cried. He’d hug Hinata close to his body until they were both asleep.

The next morning, Kageyama would get up extra early and make Hinata and Kenma breakfast- though Kenma would usually insist on letting them eat alone. Hinata would come out later, still in his pajamas and with a bed head. He’d smile and Kageyama would serve the food and then they’d both get ready for their day before parting ways, Kageyama running home before class and Hinata heading to work.

Not long ago, he and Hinata had a strange conversation.

“Have you gotten tested lately?” Hinata suddenly asked.

“Tested for what?”

Hinata stared at him. “STI’s?”

Kageyama made a face. “What? No! I don’t have any-“

“You really should,” Hinata said. “Just to make sure.”

Kageyama did so, and the results were just as expected- he was fine. He assumed that Hinata was just hoping to try and have sex with him again sometime soon.

Another weird thing was that Hinata was just acting... Off. He seemed nervous and he kept disappearing or saying he was busy whenever Kageyama wanted to meet for lunch.

That’s when Kageyama began to wonder. Did Hinata not like him anymore? Did he blame Kageyama for not being able to protect him? Oh, no, was Hinata cheating on him?

No. Kageyama couldn’t think that way. Hinata had been through a horrible ordeal in the last few months. Obviously he was acting weird, anyone would! He just needed Kageyama’s full attention and support- and he would give that to him in a heartbeat.

The days continued to pass, Hinata’s behavior getting stranger and stranger. Kageyama tried to push away the intrusive thoughts about the possibility of his boyfriend cheating.

What worried Kageyama the most was that Hinata seemed to be getting more tired. He seemed to be losing weight and getting sick more often and Kageyama began to wonder if he was in another bad situation.

“Is Hinata coming home at night,” Kageyama asked Kenma one day. “Or is he doing more jobs?”

“He’s always home right after work,” Kenma replied. “Why?”

“Haven’t you noticed that things seem to be getting bad again?”

Kenma bit his lip. “Yeah. I have. I was hoping I was just being paranoid, though.”

Kageyama nodded, relieved that someone else had noticed it, too, but filled with even more worry than before. Maybe it was time to talk to Hinata about it.


	40. Closed Eyes And Hoping For A Better Life

It was late May when Kageyama was fed up. He couldn’t let Hinata go on like this much longer and he was just too worried to think of anything else.

What he did was he went to the cafe at the very end of Hinata’s shift. When he showed up, the redhead smiled.

“Hey! I wasn’t expecting you to drop by! I’m just getting ready to go to The Crow.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Kageyama replied.

He carried Hinata’s duffel bag in one hand and held his boyfriend’s hand with the other. As they walked through the city, Kageyama spoke.

“How have you been doing lately?”

Hinata shrugged. “Okay, I guess. How about-“

“I’m worried about you.” Kageyama refrained from looking at him. “You’ve been sick a lot lately and you’ve seemed tired. You’re not taking clients again, are you?”

The redhead raised his eyebrows. “What? No! I would never.”

Kageyama stopped walking and looked him in the eye. “Then what’s with you? Something’s wrong, I know it.”

Hinata bit his bottom lip, looking away from Kageyama. The musician watched as the dancer’s eyes began to water and he stepped forward, putting an arm around him.

“Shouyou, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sick, Tobio,” Hinata said, a tear falling down his cheek. “I’m really sick.”

Kageyama felt his stomach sink. “What is it?”

“I have AIDS,” Hinata whispered.

They were silent for a moment, standing on the sidewalk in the cool spring air.

“There’s... There’s treatment for that, right? I mean... You can get better... Right?”

“It’s not working,” Hinata cried. “I’ve been getting treatment for the past month but I’m not getting any better.”

Kageyama dropped Hinata’s bag and stepped forward, embracing him and holding him close. Hinata’s face rested on Kageyama’s chest and the taller had a hand ruffling his hair. The redhead cried and Kageyama willed himself not to let any tears slip, but failed.

“Who else knows?”

“Daichi, Kenma, and John.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since the middle of February.”

“How long do they think you have?”

Hinata sniffled. “The doctor said that I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s...” He whimpered. “Progressed really far. Maybe...” Hinata let out a sob. “Maybe a year or so?”

It took Kageyama’s breath away. A year. He had a year left with the love of his life.

“There’s gotta be something we can do,” Kageyama said. “There has to.”

“There’s not,” Hinata cried into Kageyama’s chest. “There’s not, and you have to accept that. Please don’t leave me.”

Kageyama let out a panicked breath. He buried his nose in Hinata’s vanilla-scented hair.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be with you until...” He couldn’t say it. Wouldn’t say it. “Call in sick. I’ll do the same. Come home with me.”

“I can’t,” Hinata said.

“He’ll understand.”

Hinata sighed and nodded, each of them pulling out their cellphones and calling their bosses. It took everything Hinata had to keep it together as he and Kageyama walked toward the latter’s car. Kageyama opened the door for him and closed it behind him, like he always did.

They drove back to Kageyama’s apartment and walked inside, Kageyama leading him to the bedroom and lying down next to him. Hinata practically melted into his embrace, Kageyama tracing the freckles that dotted his porcelain arms. The redhead fell asleep almost immediately and Kageyama took a second to examine his face. His eyes were sunken and dark circles encased them while the rest of his face was pale.

There was a part of Kageyama that was in denial. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted this to all be some dream- a really, really bad dream- that he would wake up from soon, but another part of him knew that it wasn’t. Hinata had been raped repeatedly ever since he was a child. His parents neglected him and probably refused to vaccinate him or take him to a doctor. He’d probably been sick for years.

Kageyama felt tears flood his eyes and let them spill onto his cheeks. He let out a sob that took his breath away and squeezed Hinata tighter. Luckily, the dancer didn’t wake as Kageyama continued to cry as quietly as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :/


	41. This Time, We’ll Fade Out Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))

They stayed in bed for a long time. Hinata always seemed tired these days. The redhead slept deeply for a long time, but Kageyama didn’t sleep a wink. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was bad enough knowing that your lover was so horrifically abused his whole childhood, but knowing he was going to-

Hinata shifted. Kageyama looked down to see his nose scrunch up a bit before his face relaxed, the ginger snuggling even further into Kageyama’s chest and letting out a satisfied sigh. His eyes opened slowly and he looked up at Kageyama.

“How’d you sleep?” Hinata asked.

“Fine,” Kageyama lied. “You wait here. I’m going to make dinner.”

He stood and made his way to the kitchen, pulling out random ingredients and cooking them into something. After almost a half hour, dinner was ready and he walked back to his room. He knocked gently on the door and it opened, revealing a sleeping Hinata curled up on the bed. He may have looked unhealthy, but he was still beautiful. He could never not be beautiful.

“Shouyou,” Kageyama whispered, shaking his shoulder. “Come on, you should eat.”

The redhead stretched out and yawned, his freckled face scrunching up. His eyes opened.

“Coming,” he said.

Kageyama went to finish preparing the food and Hinata followed soon after. The dancer sat down at the kitchen table and Kageyama served the food for them both. He watched as Hinata began to eat and woke up even more.

“This is great!” Hinata beamed. “You’re such an amazing cook, I swear.”

Kageyama smiled. “Thanks.” It was then that he got the idea. “How would you like it if I could cook for you every day?”

Hinata looked up at him with one eyebrow raised. “What?”

Kageyama sat down and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, staring into his eyes. “Move in with me.”

The redhead’s eyes widened. “No. That would be too much of a hassle, and plus, you already have Suga.”

“He’s planning on moving in with Daichi,” Kageyama said. “It’ll just be me.”

Hinata’s face went from shock to excitement. “And Kenma wants to move in with Kuroo,” he said. “He just didn’t want to leave me alone, but now- now he won’t have to!”

The redhead suddenly threw himself forward, swinging his arms around Kageyama’s neck. After he got over his shock, the musician hugged him back.

It was almost a week later when Suga moved out. In that time, Hinata packed the majority of his things and was ready to move in. He called off work for the day and Kageyama, Suga, and Daichi helped move everything in a U-Haul.

Hinata was attempting to carry a rather heavy box down the stairs when his leg gave out.

“Whoa there,” Daichi said as he grabbed Hinata in one hand and the box in the other. “You alright?”

The redhead sighed as a bead of sweat went down the side of his head. “Yeah. I should take a break.”

Daichi took the box from him. “Go ahead. We’ve got this.”

Hinata walked inside the apartment and sat down on the couch. Kuroo was planning on moving in with Kenma soon- which was good, because Hinata knew that if Kenma lived alone he’d never get his face out of those screens.

The move was surprisingly easy. Hinata didn’t have a major amount of belongings and considering the fact that he was getting weaker and sicker as time went on, he was able to help a surprising amount.

When they brought in the last box and set it down in Hinata’s room, the redhead realized something.

“Do we have to sleep in separate rooms?”

Kageyama looked at him. “Of course not- not if you don’t want to, I mean.”

“I don’t want to,” Hinata replied.

Luckily, Kageyama’s bed was larger than a twin size, so they both fit on it comfortably. That night, they slept together in their shared apartment for the very first time.


	42. Straight Down The Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long bus ride with a bunch of loud middle schoolers -_-

Time went on. Before long, the days got even hotter and June was halfway over. Hinata’s birthday was coming up quick and honestly, the redhead was just happy he lived long enough to see the age of twenty.

It was Monday the eighteenth when Hinata came to the most devastating realization in his whole life.

When he woke up that morning, he was late for work. He shot up straight in bed and ignored the dizziness that ensued. Hinata darted to the closet, grabbing clothes and throwing them on.

“Wha’s goin’ on,” Kageyama’s groggy voice came.

“I’m late,” Hinata said. “Can you drive me to work?”

Kageyama nodded and got up and dressed. He had work soon, anyways. Hinata was in much more of a rush than Kageyama was and ended up impatiently waiting for him to finish getting ready.

They hopped in the car and Hinata fidgeted as they drove as fast as legally possible. Hinata scrambled out of the car as soon as they parked and ran to the cafe. When he got inside, he painted as he approached the assistant manager.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, it’ll never-“

“You always say that,” the man said pretentiously. “I told you last time you had one more chance, and I meant it. Hinata, you can turn around and-“

“What’s going on?”

They turned and saw John standing behind them, hands on his hips.

“There you are,” said the assistant manager. “Tell Hinata here that he’s fired. He’s late way too often and-“

“You can stop talking, Hiroko,” John said. “I think I know what’s going on. Hinata-“ He turned to face the redhead, who blanched. “Get to work. Hiroko, you’re fired.”

Well, that was certainly not how Hinata expected to start his day. After many shocked gasps from the assistant manager, the man stormed out leaving John and Hinata.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a while,” John said. “How are you feeling, kid?”

Hinata shrugged. “Sorry I was late, I overslept.”

“It’s no problem. Let’s just get to work.”

Hinata did so but he did everything sluggishly because he was far too exhausted. The chronic fatigue was the most noticeable part of Hinata’s illness.

He went through the motions of the rest of his shift and then walked in the warm air towards The Crow. When he arrived, he was immediately thrust into work in the kitchen. Daichi seemed to notice that he wasn’t feeling well, because he approached him soon after he arrived.

“You alright?”

The dancer nodded. “Just tired.”

Before long, it was time for Hinata’s first show. When he got onstage, he should’ve known it was a mistake. He should’ve known it would be too much for him. The music started and he began to dance, but as the music went on he got more and more winded. When the music ended, Hinata stumbled off the stage and Bokuto was at his side. The redhead collapsed against him in a fit of fatigue and dizziness and Bokuto held him upright.

“Dude, are you okay? Do you need a doctor or something?”

Hinata panted. “No. Just help me get upstairs, please.”

Bokuto practically carried him up the stairs and into the break room, sitting the redhead down on the couch. Daichi followed them in and watched as Hinata panted, sweat pouring down his face. He could literally hear his heart pounding in his ears.

That was when he knew what he had to do.

“Daichi,” Hinata said.

“Yes?” The manager motioned for Bokuto to leave and he did so.

“I-I think-“ his voice broke. “I think I need to give up dancing.”

“What? Just because of one rough performance?”

“I’m sick,” he cried. “I’m sick and it’s only going to get worse. It’s already been getting worse- I can feel it. I can’t do it.”

Daichi sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “Will you still work for me?”

“I don’t know,” Hinata said. “I’ll talk with Kageyama. I really need the money, but I’m just so tired all the time, and I’m always sick.”

“Let me know whatever you decide,” the manager said. “Do you want to just go home while you think about it?”

Hinata nodded. As Daichi walked out the door to let Hinata get ready to leave, the redhead called to him again.

“Make Akaashi the new regular,” he said. “He’s good. He deserves it.”

Daichi smiled. “Will do.”


	43. Cause We’re All Under The Upper Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when your toxic (abusive?) ex friend has been texting you nonstop and has been messaging your friends and spreading lies about you lmao:)

Hinata couldn’t dance anymore. When Kageyama heard that, he might have been just as devastated as the redhead, himself. They were driving home from The Crow because Hinata was feeling too ill to work. The dancer was sitting in the passengers seat, crying silently as they drove into the apartment parking lot.

“I think I should quit working there,” he cried.

“Why?”

“It’s just too much. I can’t work two jobs when I feel like this.” He paused. “My doctor said this would happen, anyways.”

Kageyama looked at his distraught face. “You need to do what’s best for you and if you need to let go of one of your jobs, that’s fine.”

“Do you have to go to work,” Hinata whined.

“I do,” Kageyama replied. “I’ll be home as soon as I can, okay?”

The musician kissed him gently. Hinata smiled and got out of the car, walking towards the apartment and up the steps. When he got inside, Hinata collapsed on the couch and let even more tears fall.

Kageyama went back to work, but something was bugging him the entire time. If Hinata couldn’t work, how would he pay for his medical expenses? Sure, he wasn’t exactly receiving treatment anymore, as it was useless at this point, anyway, but he would, no doubt, keep getting sicker and he’d start needing more medicines to keep him comfortable. Neither of them currently had the money to help with that.

Unless...

The musician pulled out his phone and dialed a number he hadn’t called in years. After a couple of rings, the person answered.

“Mom? It’s Tobio. I need your help.”

—

Hinata didn’t even realize he fell asleep until he woke up to Kageyama coming in the door. When he did so, he opened his eyes to see his boyfriend smiling down at him.

“Hey,” Kageyama said.

“Hi,” Hinata responded sleepily.

Kageyama sat his stuff down next to the couch and sat down at Hinata’s feet.

“Have you told Daichi you can’t work there anymore yet?”

The redhead frowned. “No. I want to tell him in person.”

Kageyama hummed in acknowledgement. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Hinata shook his head. “I’ll go after work tomorrow.”

They sat in silence, Hinata moving so that he was leaning on Kageyama with his head on the musicians shoulder.

“I called my mom today,” Kageyama said.

Hinata looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “What? Why? What did she say?”

“I asked her for help with medical expenses.”

The redhead’s face went from shock to anger within a single second.

“What?!”

Kageyama’s stomach dropped. “I asked her for he-“

“Why would you do that?!” Hinata was yelling. “I don’t want her money! I can do this on my own!”

“Shouyou-“

“She probably said no anyway,” he said.

“She said yes.” Hinata was stunned to silence for a minute and Kageyama continued. “She said yes because she was happy I found someone. She even told me she wanted to meet you sometime.”

“Do you... Do you think she means it?”

“I’m not sure,” Kageyama replied. “She and my dad are apparently splitting up, so it could be legit.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Hinata said.

“Don’t be. It was going to happen eventually.”

The redhead snuggled into Kageyama’s hold. “I don’t want her money. It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re sick. Let me do this for you.”

“How am I going to repay you?”

“By staying with me as long as you can,” Kageyama replied. “And by letting me take care of you.”

—

Hinata’s birthday came hurtling towards them. It scared Kageyama. The days were going by too fast and he didn’t like it at all.

The first thing Kageyama did when he woke up that morning was make pancakes. Hinata was still in bed and would be for another hour, so Kageyama whipped up some chocolate chip ones and some blueberry ones. He prepared them on a plate, spraying whipped cream on the pancakes and putting the plate on a tray to bring into the bedroom. He slowly opened the door and walked in.

“Hinata,” he whispered. “Shouyou, good morning.”

The redhead stirred and rolled over, looking at Kageyama before smiling groggily.

“Kageyama,” he whined. “You didn’t have to do that, how long have you been up?”

“That doesn’t matter,” he replied, setting the tray down on Hinata’s lap. “Just eat. I’ll get your lunch ready.”

Hinata pulled Kageyama down by his collar and kissed him. “Thank you.”

Kageyama left the room and Hinata stared at his breakfast. What did he do to deserve this? Tears came to his eyes and he continued to eat, willing himself not to cry. Kageyama came in to collect his dishes and saw Hinata’s year filled eyes.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Did you know that this is the first time someone has made me a birthday breakfast?”

_It’s probably the last, too._

A tear slipped down Hinata’s cheek and Kageyama felt his own eyes become wet.

“I hope it’s good then,” the musician said. “Let’s get ready to go. I have practice in an hour.”

And so they did.


	44. And Go Mad For A Couple Grams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT FORGIVE ME  
> running on four hours of sleep and two cups of coffee today!! woo!!

The days passed and June turned into July, which turned into August. Summer was coming to an end and Hinata couldn’t shake the feeling that it was his last summer ever.

He knew something was wrong the moment he woke up. He was sweating and his throat was dryer than it had ever been. Hinata opened his mouth and tried to call out to Kageyama, but all he could manage was a small grunt before he choked and began coughing.

Kageyama grunted. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

Hinata continued to cough as he reached to the bedside table and fumbled for his glass of water. He found it and took generous gulps of the liquid.

“I think I’m sick,” the redhead croaked when he was able to speak.

“Do you want me to stay home?”

“No,” Hinata answered.

They went back to sleep after Hinata called John because Kageyama didn’t have practice until ten. When the musician did get up, he made sure to get out some cough medicine and some ibuprofen. Along with that, he brought the thermometer into the bedroom. He gently shook his boyfriend awake and stuck the end of the thermometer into his mouth.

“Your fever isn’t too high,” Kageyama pointed out. “That’s good. Make sure you drink a lot of water. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home? I’d be glad to-“

“No, seriously,” Hinata said. “I’ll be fine. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Kageyama said, brushing Hinata’s sweaty bangs off his forehead.

Kageyama walked out the door, but he couldn’t stand being away from Hinata when he was unwell. This wasn’t the first time he’d been sick since moving in with Kageyama, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last, either. He was getting sicker and sicker as time went on, he was almost never one-hundred percent anymore.

After practice, Kageyama had time to get lunch. Instead of going out with Yachi like he normally did, he went back home to check on Hinata. Lo and behold, the redhead was still asleep. When Kageyama cracked open the bedroom door, a mess of orange curls was all that could be seen of Hinata.

Even though Hinata told him not to, the musician called off work, anyway. After doing so, he walked back into his and Hinata’s bedroom and placed a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Shouyou,” he said. “Have you eaten anything?”

“Nnh,” came the nasally reply.

Kageyama sighed. “We should go to the doctor, you know. This is the third fever you’ve had in a month.”

“No,” Hinata croaked. “It’s just a virus, they can’t do anything, anyways.”

“I’m going to make you some ramen,” Kageyama decided. “Try not to fall back asleep before I get back.”

Hinata grunted in response and Kageyama chuckled before walking out of the room and fixing Hinata some food. When he walked back in, his boyfriend was sitting upright and staring at him with a small smile. His nose was red and his lips were chapped and his skin was pale- but he smiled.

Kageyama never wanted to see that smile fade.


	45. And We Don’t Wanna Go Outside Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and sad and i’m sorry

It took the next two days for Hinata’s fever to go down. Within that timeframe he started wheezing and coughing even more, and his voice was completely gone. It was another day before he could go back to work to make sure his fever was completely gone.

They thought it was, they really did, but it came back soon after he went back to work. Then it went away. Then it came back.

Hinata went back and forth with this fever for weeks and when October finally came, his doctor told him some crushing news. Hinata sat on the examination table while Kageyama sat in a chair next to him, hand squeezing his boyfriend’s knee.

“You might have less time than we thought,” the woman said. Hinata looked over in time to see Kageyama blanch. “Your body can’t fight off what’s out there. Since you make contact with a lot of people while you’re at work, I recommend you stop working.”

“W-What?” Hinata’s voice broke. “But I-I...”

“I know you want to keep your independence as long as possible, and I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

“I can work though,” Hinata cried. “I can do it.”

“You’re exhausted,” the woman said. “At this point, we want you to get the most out of your life while you still can. Working yourself to death isn’t the answer.” She stood. “I’ll be back with your visit summary.”

The door shut and Kageyama looked up at Hinata, sitting on the table with tears running down his face. Kageyama stood and sat next to him on the table, wrapping his arms around him, and Hinata buried his face in Kageyama’s neck.

Then, Hinata let out the most heartbreaking wail. The sound caused Kageyama’s world to stop and his barrier to break as well. The redhead let out sob after sob of anguish and Kageyama held him, crying silently.

They went home that day with heavy hearts. When they got there, they cried some more. The whole day was a mess of tears and snot and hugging.

“I hate this,” Hinata cried as they sat on the couch, the redhead basically in Kageyama’s lap. “I hate this so much.”

“I know,” Kageyama whispered. “I know.”

—

“I’m sorry,” John said, sitting across from Hinata and Kageyama at the cafe. “I’ll come and visit you, okay? And remember, if you need anything...” He trailed off and Hinata nodded.

“I know,” the dancer said.

“I’ve gotta get back to work,” John said, standing up and patting Hinata’s shoulder. “Take care of yourself.”

Hinata bobbed his head in response, eyes downcast, and Kageyama grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. The redhead looked up at him.

“We should go home,” he said. “I’m tired.”

Hinata was always tired, these days.

In fact, whenever he would get home from work, he’d end up sleeping the entire rest of the day away. Work took up all of his energy- and that was what made Kageyama convinced that the doctor was right.

Maybe they really didn’t have that much time left, after all.


	46. And In A Pipe We’ll Fly To The Motherland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really sorry about this guys

Hinata was sick- again. This time seemed worse than usual.

 _It makes sense,_ thought Kageyama. _It’s winter now, everyone gets sick._

That cold January morning, Kageyama got ready and went to class yet again. Before he left, he tenderly kissed Hinata’s forehead. The redhead didn’t stir.

At this point, Hinata was the sickest he’d ever been. He’d always been pale, but now he was ghostly. His skin was paper-white, but his eyes were sunken and dark. He’d always been skinny, but now he was emaciated. His face was thin and his skin was pulled tightly over his collarbones. His ribs and spine protruded from his body and his knees and elbows were knobby. He barely ate anymore. He barely even got out of bed. Kageyama spent as much time at home as he could, but he wished with all his heart that he could do more.

Kageyama took his eyes off of Hinata and closed the bedroom door without looking back. If he had, he probably would’ve skipped class altogether.

Hinata, meanwhile, had the headache of a lifetime. He woke hours later to the throbbing pain that didn’t cease. With a groan that turned into a whine, he grappled around for the water that Kageyama left for him. The redhead couldn’t open his eyes, the aching pain was too bad and everything was too bright. He felt his hand hit something and went to grab it, but the cup fell to the floor with a thud and a splash.

Groaning, Hinata tried to push himself up, but everything hurt and he was too dizzy. He started walking to the bathroom to grab a towel, but his vision went white and his head spun. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and tapped for Kageyama’s contact.

“Shouyou?” Came Kageyama’s voice. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’ feel... You need to come home,” Hinata slurred. “Something’s wro...”

He trailed off as the dizziness overtook him and he collapsed to the floor. He could hear Kageyama yelling through the phone, but his voice sounded too far away.

Too far away.

—

Running. Kageyama was running. When he got the call, he realized it was Hinata and got up from his seat and exited the class before answering it. When he heard Hinata’s phone fall to the floor, he scrambled back into the room and grabbed his computer, dashing from the room.

Kageyama sped down the streets and parked haphazardly in a spot outside the apartment building. He clambered up the steps and pushed the apartment door open.

“Hinata?” Kageyama yelled. “Hinata, where are you?”

He stopped short when he spotted the redhead sprawled on the floor, eyes closed. The air in his chest was forced out in a huff as he rushed forward, kneeling next to him.

“Shouyou,” he called. “Shou...”

Hinata stirred slightly and his eyes opened into tired slits. He moaned and closed his eyes again.

“God, you’re burning up,” Kageyama said as he placed a hand on Hinata’s hot, sweaty forehead. He sighed. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

Kageyama grabbed his boyfriend and carried him bridal style, running out to the car. He struggled to open the door to the backseat and when he did, he laid Hinata down. He sped to the hospital. Kageyama drove faster than he ever had and skidded to a halt in the emergency room parking lot. Kageyama scrambled to unbuckle, his shaking hands making it difficult to grab Hinata and run through the sliding doors.

“Help,” he called breathlessly. “I don’t know what’s wrong- help him, please!”

Worried nurses pushed a gurney up to him and he laid Hinata down on it.

“What happened,” a nurse asked.

“He was sick this morning and when I got back he was just laying there,” Kageyama rushed to explain. “He has AIDS and his doctor said he doesn’t have much time left- but it can’t be happening now, it can’t-“

Kageyama was cut off when he noticed that Hinata was _trembling_. His eyelids fluttered and his head was thrown back, jaw clenched and lips partway open. His limbs were quaking and Kageyama wasn’t sure if Hinata was in control when he lifted his shaking hand and grabbed Kageyama’s shirt. His small hand clenched and unclenched and Kageyama wasn’t aware of anything but the fact that Hinata could be dying.

Then, the gasping noises stopped emitting from Hinata’s mouth and his body went limp, hand falling onto the gurney. Kageyama’s vision was white around the edges and his breathing was erratic as the gurney was rushed down a hallway. He tried to follow, but his feet were anchored to the damn floor and his legs felt like jelly as they gave out from under him. The musician kneeled on the floor and covered his face before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“Is there anyone you want to call?” A voice asked.

He nodded. Daichi needed to know.

 


	47. Or Sell Love To Another Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :(

After answering several questions for doctors and calling Daichi, Kageyama sat down and waited. Soon after, before Daichi was able to show up, a doctor approached him.

“You came here with Hinata Shouyou, am I correct?” He nodded. “I need you to come with me.”

Kageyama felt the color drain from his face. “Why?”

“Hinata has meningococcal disease. You need to be tested and given antibiotics just in case.”

“Whoa, what? What is that?”

The doctor explained that it was an infection of the brain, spinal fluid, and, in Hinata’s case, the blood. Kageyama went back with the doctor and was stuck with needle after needle, to find that he wasn’t infected. They still put him on antibiotics just to be safe.

“When can I see him,” he asked. “Is he okay?”

“The infection has progressed pretty far,” the doctor said. “He went into septic shock before he came here, and if you hadn’t gotten here when you did, he wouldn’t be alive right now. The thing is...” The man looked at him with pity in his eyes. “His immune system is virtually gone. He can’t fight this off- sometimes _healthy_ people can’t even fight this off. We’re going to try and help him, but the odds aren’t in his favor.”

All Kageyama felt in that moment was numb. He couldn’t bring himself to cry or to yell because he was far too exhausted. He just nodded.

“I’ll take you to him,” the doctor said.

Kageyama followed him down a hall and into a room in the Intensive Care Unit. Now, Kageyama knew Hinata had lost weight- and a lot of it- but it was even more obvious now that he was lying in that big hospital bed. He slowly approached the chair that was next to all of the machines and wires attached to the small frame in the bed and sat in it. Kageyama found Hinata’s small hand and grabbed onto it.

There was a knock on the door and Kageyama didn’t turn his head when it creaked open.

“Kageyama?” Daichi’s breathless voice came. “What-What happened?”

“Me-Menin... Menin-something-disease,” he croaked.

He heard Daichi exhale sharply. Kageyama finally took his eyes off of Hinata and looked back at him, seeing a man who looked just as distraught as Kageyama felt.

Then it happened- Hinata’s hand gave a weak squeeze to Kageyama’s. The musician’s head whipped over and Daichi walked to the other side of the bed and stared.

“Hinata,” Kageyama called. “Shouyou?”

The redhead groaned softly and his eyes opened. Kageyama brushed his bangs off of his sweat-covered forehead and put on a smile.

“Hey,” he said. “Hey, how do you feel?”

Hinata’s face just scrunched up and he let out a sob. “I’m... I’m sorry.”

“Stop that,” Daichi said. “You shouldn’t be.”

“I just wanted to go to c-college,” he cried softly. “That’s all I w-wanted. Why does everything have to be so-so messed up?”

“I don’t know,” Kageyama whispered, still holding that smile on his face while tears rolled down his cheeks. “I would trade places with you if I could. You don’t deserve this. No one does.”

“I don’t wanna leave you,” Hinata cried. “I’m happy with you. I w-wanna be with you forever.”

Kageyama felt a sob come up his throat but pushed it away. “I do too.”

Hinata sobbed again and closed his eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Rest,” Daichi said. “Don’t worry about anything.”

Kageyama watched as Hinata’s breathing slowed and his face relaxed. He couldn’t- wouldn’t- take his eyes off him.

Suga came, eventually. So did Kenma, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Nishinoya. Crying was involved- a lot of it. Hinata woke up once, before Kenma left, but didn’t say much. Not only was the illness making his brain fuzzy, but the medications he was on made him more fatigued than he already was.

Now, several hours later, Kageyama sat alone with a sleeping Hinata on the bed. He started dozing off when he heard Hinata grunt. He opened his eyes and his boyfriend was facing away from him, but he was squirming.

“Shouyou? Are you okay?”

“Nnh,” Hinata moaned. “I d-don’ feel g-good.”

“Okay,” Kageyama said. “I’ll go get a doc...”

There Hinata was, trembling again. His thin legs were kicking and Kageyama shot up to a standing position, running from the room.

“Help!” He shouted. “Help, please!”

Nurses and doctors swarmed the bed and Kageyama’s view of Hinata was obstructed. When the seizing stopped, he just got a glance of Hinata’s closed eyes before he heard a nurse call, “someone get him some oxygen.”

The lump in Kageyama’s throat grew and wouldn’t go away. There was more medical-talk about things Kageyama didn’t understand and finally he was alone again. Well, Hinata was there, but he might as well have been alone because Hinata was unconscious. He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands.

His hope was slipping away, just like Hinata was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! i’m currently in Washington DC and i’m having such a good time!! i hope you all are well :)


	48. It’s Too Cold Outside

There were a couple more seizures after that. Hinata threw up after some of them, but others he barely woke up after. Sometimes when he would wake up, he’d babble nonsensically. Kageyama would try to keep him calm, though he was usually very distraught because of how awful he felt. Hinata would often cry and all Kageyama could do was hold his hand and wait until he fell back asleep.

People visited. Suga and Daichi came a couple times throughout the day, but Kenma only came once. He was struggling. He felt partway responsible for some of what went on, because Hinata was insistent on paying him back for all he’d done for him.

Kageyama didn’t leave the hospital. He didn’t go home, or to class, or to work. He lived on coffee and didn’t eat. He dozed off sometimes, but was woken back up whenever Hinata moved or started seizing.

The doctor came in again on the third day there.

“He’s not doing as well as we’d hoped he’d be-“

“How much time?” Kageyama asked. “How long until he...?”

The doctor let out a breath. “Any day now. We’re just trying to minimize the pain.”

Kageyama nodded. “Do you think this could have been avoided? If I brought him in sooner?”

“Taking his preexisting illness into consideration, I don’t think so.”

Looking away from the doctor, Kageyama placed his eyes on Hinata once again. He heard the door click shut.

Within another couple of days, Hinata fell comatose. It happened quickly- he stopped breathing after a seizure and Kageyama was ushered from the room as they shoved a breathing tube down Hinata’s throat. When he was allowed to go back inside, he didn’t go. Instead, he went home. He’d been at the hospital for over a week- he needed a shower, a good nights sleep, a real meal.

Kageyama came back the next morning, along with Daichi. They sat with Hinata for a long time and sometimes, Hinata’s hand would twitch or his eyelids would flutter- muscle spasms, the doctor said. All Kageyama could think about was that there was a little bit of life still left in Hinata. His light hadn’t gone out yet.

That afternoon, though, Hinata underwent some brain scans and other tests that proved differently.

“There’s no sign of brain activity,” the doctor said. “I wasn’t expecting this rapid a decline, but I’m afraid we have to consider the option of taking him off life support. It’s all up to you,” he said, looking at Daichi. “You have medical power of attorney, so you have the final say.”

Kageyama looked to Daichi, seeing his wide, bloodshot eyes.

“I’ll... I’ll think about it,” Daichi said.

The doctor gave them a pitying smile and left the room. Daichi turned to him.

“I think... I think I need to say yes.”

Kageyama looked at him. He wanted to cry, he did, but he was just too numb.

“Okay,” he settled on.

He looked over at Hinata and approached his bed. Kageyama sat down on the edge of it, grabbing his hand and holding it to his cheek. He didn’t realize he was crying until he brought Hinata’s hand to his lips and it tasted salty.

For the last time, he leaned down and kissed Hinata gently on his forehead.

With that, he walked out the door and didn’t look back.

—

Hinata died on a Thursday. It was late morning. The sky was gray and flurries fell lightly from above.

Daichi called him around noon. He said that it was only a few minutes after they pulled the plug that Hinata passed. He was invited to the hospital to say goodbye, but Kageyama refused. Then, Daichi offered to come over.

He told him he wanted to be alone.

-

-

-

He didn’t want to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know i had to do it to em


	49. For Angels To Fly

It had been a week since Hinata died. Kageyama hadn’t left his house until today, and the only reason he did so was because Hinata’s funeral was today. He combed his hair and put on the best clothes he had for the first time in days.

When he got to the funeral home, it was the first time anyone had seen him in days. They stared at him with pity on their faces. Kageyama hated it. It made him want to retreat back to his apartment and douse his bed with Shouyou’s cologne, clutching his boyfriend’s old pillow.

Kageyama walked inside and was approached by Sugawara and Daichi. Suga straightened Kageyama’s tie and gave him a sad smile.

“Thank you for sending me those pictures,” he said. “I made them into a slideshow. I think you’ll like it.”

He approached the casket. Hinata’s face was calm. The corners of his lips were curved upward ever so slightly. It was so faint that Kageyama couldn’t tell if it was real, or if his eyes were tricking him. He chose to believe the former.

Kageyama smoothed Hinata’s tie and, for the last time, pushed his bangs off his forehead. All he wanted to do was hold him tightly, but his skin was cold. There was no life there anymore.

At exactly eleven, the slideshow was about to begin and Kageyama grabbed a seat at the front of the room. Next to him were Suga, Daichi, and Kenma. Kageyama quickly glanced behind him and found that the place was surprisingly full. John and his family were there. Kuroo, Nishinoya, Asahi, and Bokuto were there. Next to Bokuto was a man that Hinata had once introduced to him as Akaashi.

Officer Iwaizumi was there. Yachi, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima sat near the back. In front of them were people Kageyama recognized as Hinata’s old coworkers from the cafe- Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Then there was another guy. He had a shaved head and a forced scowl on his face. How did he know Hinata? In fact, how did everyone else here know Hinata?

There was so much Kageyama didn’t know about Hinata, so many memories that were never made, so many conversations they never had.

When the slideshow started, it was with pictures of Hinata at work. Kageyama took note of the fact that there were no pictures of him as a kid. It was no wonder why. As the slideshow went on, Kageyama saw himself be inserted into the pictures. There were several selfies that Hinata made him take with him, some featuring a frowning, irritated Kageyama, and others with Kageyama unaware of the picture being taken.

There was this one picture, this one goddamn picture, that stripped Kageyama raw and made him break. It was a picture from last summer, when they went to a park on the outskirts of the city. In the picture, Hinata is smiling brightly at the camera and the light is hitting him just right so you can see the dusting of freckles on his cheeks and nose. Kageyama is next to him, nose in Hinata’s hair and eyes closed.

The next picture only makes him cry harder. They were still at the park, but Kageyama wasn’t looking at the camera in this one. Instead, he was distracted by something that he can’t remember now, and was looking away. Hinata, though, was staring at Kageyama’s face with this look in his eye as if Kageyama was his whole world. The next picture showed Kageyama returning the look, and the next picture was of them kissing.

There were more pictures- pictures of him at The Crow, pictures of him at the cafe, pictures of him with Kenma when they lived together. When the slideshow ended, Kageyama was a mess. There were so many good memories and Kageyama didn’t want them to ever fade, but he already forgot exactly what Hinata’s skin felt like against his and how his lips tasted and the exact pitch of his voice and-

“Kageyama.” He looked to Suga at the whisper. “Are you okay?”

He nodded and looked up to where Daichi was now talking. He talked about how when he first met Hinata, the kid was a mess.

“He was one of those people who you looked at and thought, ‘I’m not sure if he’s going to make it,’” Daichi said. “I wasn’t sure if he’d make it off those streets- but he did. He got a job and he got an apartment and though he didn’t make it to college, he would have some day. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t make his way to success. I think we can all agree that Hinata Shouyou impacted the lives of each one of us. He’d been through hell, he came from nothing, but he was kind. People all too easily let this world make them bitter. If anyone had the reason to be bitter, it was Shouyou. Despite that, he wasn’t. I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from that.”

He folded his piece of paper and walked off the stage. Kageyama watched as Nishinoya went up next, talking about how he and Hinata used to play pranks on Asahi during work, and how when they were getting ready to leave at the end of their shifts, they’d play music in the break room and sing the lyrics as loud as they could in their worst singing voices.

Afterwards, they all had time to mingle and talk to each other. Kageyama found that the bald guy from earlier was someone who helped Hinata out with a violent client more than a year ago. He also met Koji and Izumi, friends from Hinata’s middle school that he kept in touch with. Evidently, they were the only ones who cared about his home life back then.

Eventually, everyone left. Kageyama‘s brain zoned out for most of the burial. He just barely remembered clutching Suga’s sleeve with a white knuckled fist while they lowered the coffin.

He thought he was alone before, but the true feeling of loneliness set in as he left the cemetery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all. the finale is coming. saturday. be there.


	50. Angels To Die

Kageyama was lying on the couch, beer cans strewn about the floor.

It had been six weeks since Hinata died.

It felt like a lifetime.

There was a knock on the door. Kageyama tried to ignore it, but the noise became incessant.

“It’s open,” he shouted from where he sat.

The door opened and in stepped Suga. The man walked inside and his face scrunched up.

“Tobio, how long has it been since you went outside? Or showered?”

“I dunno,” he replied.

“Where’d you get all this alcohol?”

“Places.”

Suddenly the can he was drinking from was no longer in his hand and Suga was looking at him angrily.

“You’ve got to stop this,” he said. “Hinata wouldn’t want-“

“How the hell,” Kageyama bellowed. “Would _you_ know what Hinata would want?”

Suga looked at him, a defeated expression on his face. Kageyama kept his eyebrows knitted together and his face in a scowl as he watched Suga sigh, closing his eyes.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you,” the man said. He took his phone out of his pocket. “I’ve been trying to wait for the right time, but I guess that time is now.”

Suga handed him the phone and pressed play on a video. There was Hinata, looking quite a bit healthier than when Kageyama last saw him, sitting on the very couch Kageyama was sitting on now. The musician’s heart skipped a beat.

“Hey, Tobio,” Hinata said with a sigh and a small smile. “If you’re watching this, it means I’ve finally... You know.” Kageyama saw despair flash on his face. “I just want to clear a few things up. Y’know, say a few things.” Hinata leaned forward and looked directly into the camera. “I love you,” he said, accentuating each word by nodding slightly. “I love you- so much- and I would do anything to get more time with you. I think we both know that the world just isn’t fair- no, life isn’t fair- but it’s not all bad. I mean, remember that time we were at the park and I fell into the lake? You thought I couldn’t swim, so you jumped in, too. Then we were both soaked the whole bus ride home.”

“I guess what I’m saying is... There will come a time when I’m sick- too sick to take care of myself, too sick to work, too sick to leave the house. I don’t want you to remember that. That’s why I’m filming this- I want this to be the last you see of me. I want this to be the last you hear from me.” Hinata sniffled. “Please don’t be angry. Don’t be angry at the world, at whatever higher powers that may exist. I don’t want you walking around angry and bitter for the rest of your life. Because life is precious. You never know how much time you have le-ft.”

Hinata’s voice cracked and a tear fell down his cheek. He wiped it away and took a deep breath and smiled. “You have the opportunity to live your life and get the most out of it. You’re talented, you’re smart, you’re capable. You have so much left to do. So please, go do it. Don’t let this hold you back.”

Straightening his back and putting on a proud smile, Hinata continued. “I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. My whole life was worth it because you came into it. I wouldn’t want to change a thing. Thank you. Thank you for taking my messed up self and making me whole again.” Hinata’s smile was genuine. “Thank you.”

The video ended.

Kageyama looked at Suga. “When did he send you this?”

“Almost a year ago,” Suga said.

He sat and absorbed the video he watched. Something in him lit up. Kageyama was grieving, yes, but it didn’t seem as hopeless anymore.

Suga left, eventually. Kageyama actually got up and cleaned himself up. He shaved, and showered, and did laundry.

Finally, he cleaned up all the beer cans and other trash strewn around. When the bag was full, he decided to take it out to the dumpster at the back of the building. It was dark outside now. He took the bag and rounded the side of the building, throwing it inside the dumpster.

Then there was a clicking noise.

“Give me your wallet,” a voice said.

Kageyama put his hands in the air, turning around slowly. “Listen, don’t do anything you might re-“

“Give me your fucking wallet!”

“I don’t have it on me,” Kageyama said with fake calmness.

“Give me your keys then!”

“If you turn and walk away now, I won’t te-“

“Get on the ground!” The man was moving toward him now and Kageyama could see that his face was completely covered. “Get down!”

Kageyama kneeled down, hands still in the air. His heart was racing, sweat pouring down his forehead and goosebumps forming on his neck as the man walked around him. The man was saying something, yelling. Kageyama couldn’t hear it over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

Then, he was staring down the barrel of the gun.

He looked up. The sky was nice tonight. The moon was full and the night sky seemed cloudless, revealing every single star in the galaxy.

Every

Single

Star.

_The gun._

The stars.

_The gun._

The stars.

_**The gun.** _

“Tobio!”

A ceiling?

Kageyama was staring at a ceiling now. He felt the sheets of the bed clinging to his sweaty skin. What the hell? What was-

“Tobio?”

Kageyama looked to his left.

“Shouyou?”

“Yeah, of course,” Hinata said, eyebrows raised in concern. “Did you have a bad dream? You sounded like you were.”

“I-I...” Kageyama tackled Hinata in a hug. “I was dreaming?”

Hinata chuckled. “Uh... Yeah? What’s going on with you?” He broke the embrace.

Kageyama stared at him incredulously. “That was just... A weird dream. A weird, vivid dream.”

“What about?”

“You... You were sick, really sick.”

Hinata exhaled. “I’m fine, okay? I’m going to go back to sleep. Let me know if you have another nightmare.”

The black haired man smiled and pulled Hinata close before they both closed their eyes.

“Goodnight, Tobio.”

Kageyama’s smile grew incredibly wider.

“Goodnight, Shouyou.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_FIN._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments and kudos! i'd love to hear what you think!


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